Marvelyn: I really tried to put myself in people’s shoes. I also tried to push everyone away. I felt like a dying child. In certain places, I was forced to eat on paper plates and paper cups and wash my clothes separately. I wanted life to go back to being the same. Same old friends, for my family to treat me the same old way. It just didn’t happen that way. But then I started realizing it was actually a good thing—[HIV] was moving a lot of negative people out of my life.

Speaking Out

SM: Five months after you were diagnosed you began to speak publicly about your HIV status and HIV awareness in general. Why not just keep it between you and your circle?
Marvelyn: I think a part of it was rebelliousness. People telling me that no one will ever accept you, you’ll never be anything and putting up these barriers against me because I was HIV positive. I have a mission; I have a purpose in life. Either I can take it and run with it or I can keep it to myself while every day people are still getting infected and dying.

SM: You share quite a bit about your social life in your talks and blogs, particularly how open you are about your status to the men you date from the start. Why reveal your status from the get-go?
Marvelyn: If I don’t and wait until we’re about to have sex to tell him I am HIV positive, not only will I not be honest and open with him, but it’s like what if he tells me ‘no.’ Now I’ve developed feelings for the nut. I would have just messed myself up in two ways. I’m a Taurus, so I like communication too [laughs].

SM: How do you feel when men don’t want to date you because you’re HIV positive?
Marvelyn: It really doesn’t hurt because there’ll be no feelings there. I don’t let myself get there. If I don’t know you, then I don’t like you.