I simply use a condom and use a condom correctly. And I educate my partner—we know how it’s passed and how it’s not passed.

SM: A lot of women feel that when they’re in monogamous relationships, they can have unprotected sex with their partner. What do you tell those women that want to have sex with their partners without a condom, just like you did with your boyfriend?
Marvelyn: I had friends who were married when they found out they were HIV positive. But at the beginning of their marriage, they went and got an HIV test [and were negative], so how did both of them become HIV positive? Either he got infected the day before the wedding or he was doing something in the marriage. Either way he cheated.

I meet people who say we haven’t been using a condom, how can I tell him to use one now? One who loves their body will protect their body. It’s not about a man, a husband, it’s about self. I’m not saying you have to use a condom all the time just because I have to. What I’m saying is in order to protect yourself, you have to use a condom. I just suggest you choose wisely.


Marvelyn speaking at Miles College in Birmingham, Ala.

SM: What has been the most challenging thing you’ve faced in speaking out?
Marvelyn: One time I really broke down when I went to speak to a group of high school kids. Before the [host] introduced me he started a conversation about HIV: ‘I know some of you are thinking you can’t relate to this and this has nothing to do with you …’ People were on their cell phones and their PSPs … it was crazy. I felt like that was what I would have done in high school. And when I saw myself in every one of them in there, it scared me … it was like ‘wow, they really don’t have a clue.’ I was trying to talk to them and they were acting just like I used to act. That was the first time I ever cried during a presentation.