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SM: People are mean in high school. Did anyone make fun of you or just come out and tell you how skinny or even “anorexic” you looked?
Lindsay: The skinny comments were actually fuel for me to keep going. In my twisted mind anyone who said “You look too thin,”—that was a good thing. Anyone who said you look normal, you look healthy, you look good—that equated to “you look fat” and I would cut what I was eating or work out more.
SM: Did your parents ever try to force you to eat?
Lindsay: They tried having me eat with them at the table and I went through such an anxiety attack; it was horrible. I remember I was shaking, I couldn’t breathe, I was so scared and I felt like my control was being taken away. They just wanted me to eat so badly.
SM: After two years you were still barely eating and losing weight. Did anyone realize how much you were hurting yourself and that you had a serious eating disorder?
Lindsay: My mom did. My parents prohibited me from running after I dropped more weight. I was starting to hit rock bottom. Around my16th birthday I ended up getting my driver’s license and my car and my dad actually got me a gym membership. He just said, “Don’t tell your mom.” And at that point I just thought he was the greatest thing alive. But I don’t think he was admitting it either. Obviously ‘cause by getting me a gym membership—that just fueled the fire.
No parent wants to think that their child is starving themselves or doing these horrible things to themselves. I think every parent goes through a stage of denial and thinks it’ll be a phase that [his or her child] will get through. They want to believe their daughter when she says, “Oh, no. I swear I’m working on it, I’m eating I’m doing so much better.”
| krnfirestone -- Pleasanton | |
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Thank you for sharing your story. I have met you and I am so impressed with your strength! You are a beautiful person. I wish the best for you! A friend! |
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| Amber -- San Diego | |
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| MorganC | |
| MorganC | |
| My best friend has had an eating disorder for at least four years and she doesn't seem to be improving. I just don't know what to do or say anymore. I think she should get serious help but I'm not sure if it's my place to step in. How can I tell her without pushing her away? | |
| LS -- New York City | |
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THANK YOU FOR THIS STORY. I can relate to soooo many things that Lindsay said. I'm a people pleaser to a fault, and I love when people say i look too skinny. When people tell me I look healthy, I take it as an insult and it motivates me to diet or work out more. Also, I have the "radar" and can spot someone with eating problems a mile away. Though i don't have full blown anorexia, I have definite food issues. Thanks for the reminder of how scary it could be if I let them get the best of me. LS |
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| TinaVail -- Ojai | |
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There is a book by Marion Woodman called Addicted to Perfection that might be helpful to anyone suffering from an eating disorder. Thank you SavvyMiss for getting this article out. It helps us all to be informed about this...and thank you Lindsey for your courage to speak. |
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| babyallie -- West Hollywood | |
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| Olivia -- Tucson | |
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