Story of a Sexual Assault Survivor
I woke up with a pillow over my face and I was being raped. My pants were down and I was trying to fight him. I was putting up too much of a fight so he turned me over and held my head down into a pillow by the back of my neck. One of my girlfriends from campus was with me in the same apartment. I kept thinking surely she heard me, surely someone could hear me scream, but everyone was drinking and there were a lot of people there so who really knows.
SM: How did you get away from him?
Lindsay: When he was done he just rolled over like it was no big deal. I got up and went to the bathroom. My friend was in the living room on the couch sleeping and I just got her and said, “We have to go. Please let’s leave now.”
SM: Did you tell your friend? Did you report it to the police or go to the hospital to get a rape kit done?
Lindsay: No, I didn’t. I was just in so much shock about what had happened. I remember thinking maybe I should say something, maybe I should do something, but I was in this perpetual state of blaming myself.
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Your comments
| fun_in_the_sun | |
| Lindsay's story is very inspiring. I wish more people could hear her story because I know of too many girls that don't tell anyone about being raped because they blame themselves. | |
| o0lilypad0o | |
| My heart goes out to Lindsay and all victims who read this. I was raped while in college as well, only difference being that it was a stranger who attacked me. All what you described, I endured. When I read this article, I cried. I never reported it, and, soon enough, I had isolated myself from the world I thought I knew, became depressed, had panic-attacks, messed around with all sorts of guys, my grades plummeted, took up alcohol and drugs as my coping mechanism, and had wandered away from family and friends who didn't quite get what changed in me but nevertheless wanted to support. Fortunately, my academic counselor recognized my potential, and, while she had no idea what had happened to me, advised that I seek therapy. It took my a long time to trust even my therapist, but ultimately I came out of the experience re-learning how to love my body and re-discover my self-worth. It is a battle, but the time and energy you put into the healing process will aid you immensely in re-connecting to the world. I, too, was terrified at the prospect of reporting the incident because I feared being judged. I encourage any victim of sexual assault to ask for help because you will help yourself recover sooner than you realize. As for me, I have taken part in a campus-sponsored mentoring program for young girls in the community, participate in V-Day productions, and am committed bringing light to this taboo phenomenon. | |
| bella -- ojai | |
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Lindsay, I sincerely admire your courage and strength to persevere and again become the "captain of your ship". Yours is an important story and I thank you and Savvymiss.com for sharing it with all of us. I wish that no one would ever have to think they did something wrong when they were the victim in such a terrible crime. I will be pulling for your continued success and for the success of all the innocent women who have suffered this horrible violation. |
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