SM: What did he say to that?
Lindsay: That he was sure it was a misunderstanding – and then he just walked away.
SM: When did you realize you needed to tell someone that you had been raped?
Lindsay: It was about nine months after it happened when I told my first serious college boyfriend. He would wake me up because I would be shaking in the middle of the night. He’d be like, “You’re screaming. What is wrong with you?!” Finally I said,”Ok, let me walk you through my past a little.”
SM: How did it feel to tell him?
Lindsay: It was a relief to tell someone, but he immediately became angry and was like I’m going to get your brothers and we’re going to take care of this. He didn’t understand why I didn’t tell my family. He also didn’t understand me not wanting the guy’s legs broken.
SM: Why didn’t you tell your family?
Lindsay: At that point I was thinking to myself “I’ve done this on my own long enough—there’s nothing that can be done now.” I didn’t want to tell my family and put them through the same amount of pain and anguish that I had put myself through.
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| fun_in_the_sun | |
| Lindsay's story is very inspiring. I wish more people could hear her story because I know of too many girls that don't tell anyone about being raped because they blame themselves. | |
| o0lilypad0o | |
| My heart goes out to Lindsay and all victims who read this. I was raped while in college as well, only difference being that it was a stranger who attacked me. All what you described, I endured. When I read this article, I cried. I never reported it, and, soon enough, I had isolated myself from the world I thought I knew, became depressed, had panic-attacks, messed around with all sorts of guys, my grades plummeted, took up alcohol and drugs as my coping mechanism, and had wandered away from family and friends who didn't quite get what changed in me but nevertheless wanted to support. Fortunately, my academic counselor recognized my potential, and, while she had no idea what had happened to me, advised that I seek therapy. It took my a long time to trust even my therapist, but ultimately I came out of the experience re-learning how to love my body and re-discover my self-worth. It is a battle, but the time and energy you put into the healing process will aid you immensely in re-connecting to the world. I, too, was terrified at the prospect of reporting the incident because I feared being judged. I encourage any victim of sexual assault to ask for help because you will help yourself recover sooner than you realize. As for me, I have taken part in a campus-sponsored mentoring program for young girls in the community, participate in V-Day productions, and am committed bringing light to this taboo phenomenon. | |
| bella -- ojai | |
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Lindsay, I sincerely admire your courage and strength to persevere and again become the "captain of your ship". Yours is an important story and I thank you and Savvymiss.com for sharing it with all of us. I wish that no one would ever have to think they did something wrong when they were the victim in such a terrible crime. I will be pulling for your continued success and for the success of all the innocent women who have suffered this horrible violation. |
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