SM: If you could go back, would you have reported it?
Lindsay: Yeah, if I was in the clear mindset that I’m in now. If I was still in the mindset I was at that point, no, I probably wouldn’t have reported again.
SM: What mindset?
Lindsay: I remember thinking I would encounter a lot of judgments. I went to the biggest church in my town. I remember thinking about being judged, being scrutinized for being in that position.
SM: You’re not the first sexual assault victim who not only blames herself but also fears that others will judge you—the focus is too often on the victim, not on the predator. What do you think that says about our society?
Lindsay: You hear so much about the woman’s role in the sexual assault and you never hear about the guy. I think when people react – she shouldn’t have been wearing that, if she would have been studying and not drinking, if she would have done a, b and c then... All that does is fuel the myths that surround rape. It doesn’t matter what happens, you don’t deserve it period.
|
COMMENT ON ARTICLE |
FORWARD |
|
|
POST THIS ARTICLE ON:
|
||
| fun_in_the_sun | |
| Lindsay's story is very inspiring. I wish more people could hear her story because I know of too many girls that don't tell anyone about being raped because they blame themselves. | |
| o0lilypad0o | |
| My heart goes out to Lindsay and all victims who read this. I was raped while in college as well, only difference being that it was a stranger who attacked me. All what you described, I endured. When I read this article, I cried. I never reported it, and, soon enough, I had isolated myself from the world I thought I knew, became depressed, had panic-attacks, messed around with all sorts of guys, my grades plummeted, took up alcohol and drugs as my coping mechanism, and had wandered away from family and friends who didn't quite get what changed in me but nevertheless wanted to support. Fortunately, my academic counselor recognized my potential, and, while she had no idea what had happened to me, advised that I seek therapy. It took my a long time to trust even my therapist, but ultimately I came out of the experience re-learning how to love my body and re-discover my self-worth. It is a battle, but the time and energy you put into the healing process will aid you immensely in re-connecting to the world. I, too, was terrified at the prospect of reporting the incident because I feared being judged. I encourage any victim of sexual assault to ask for help because you will help yourself recover sooner than you realize. As for me, I have taken part in a campus-sponsored mentoring program for young girls in the community, participate in V-Day productions, and am committed bringing light to this taboo phenomenon. | |
| bella -- ojai | |
|
Lindsay, I sincerely admire your courage and strength to persevere and again become the "captain of your ship". Yours is an important story and I thank you and Savvymiss.com for sharing it with all of us. I wish that no one would ever have to think they did something wrong when they were the victim in such a terrible crime. I will be pulling for your continued success and for the success of all the innocent women who have suffered this horrible violation. |
|