1. Make your “Living in Denial” list. The truth about denial is that we all know what we are denying. We know the drunk is drinking, the cheater is cheating, the user is using. If you are not sure, you can usually identify denial areas through the things that scare, anger or disempower you. Make your list.

2. Make a list of how denial has helped keep you afloat. In other words, what is your “payoff?” Believe it or not, you are getting a payoff for not addressing the issue. Payoffs can come in the form of remaining “the nice one,” “the perfect one” or avoiding abandonment issues, etc.

3. Remember, you do not have to have all the answers today on how to solve your problems. The first step to addressing the elephant is to simply recognize its existence. In other words, admit there is a problem. Once you do, God, life, the universe and people will create the path and answers to help you choose a better tomorrow.

Dr. Tracy Kemble is the founder of the Women In Need (WIN) organization http://www.womeninneed.org and the creator of the life-changing Right Living Program. A former Mrs. Globe with a Ph.D. in Psychology, Dr. Kemble has also served as an author, teacher and television host and is currently the CEO of SHOCK cosmetics. Since WIN’s inception in 1996, the nonprofit outreach has become a leading abuse recovery and emotional empowerment program for women.