SM: But wallowing can be a comfort zone for people.
Lisa Nichols: It’s a lazy zone. Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments where I just want to be miserable, but inside that moment, the best thing you can do is be honest with what you’re choosing to do. “I’m wallowing. I’m not going to blame anyone. I’m not going to say that I’m not wallowing.” But I don’t think there’s a time when beating up on yourself makes sense. You’ll have to walk through all those doors and deal with those feelings because they’re going to come on their own enough. Don’t bring them onto yourself.

SM: How can negative thoughts affect the activity you’re doing?
Lisa Nichols: When you’re thinking negatively about something you’re about to do, it makes what you’re about to do very difficult to get done. You don’t feel energetic about any of it because [negative thoughts] zap your energy. Also, just because you feel bad about something doesn’t mean you get to do a redo, so you’re robbing your minutes of joy in your life.