SM: Why the “Oh childbirth’s not so painful, everything is so rosy.” Why can’t people just be honest about what it’s like?
Risa Green: One reason is that people forget. I also think they don’t want to scare you. Because I’ve definitely been in situations where people are pregnant and they’ve read my book and they call me crying. You don’t want to freak people out completely.

SM: Sometimes I’m unsure of how to treat my pregnant friends. Are there certain questions you should ask?
Risa Green: No, but there are questions not to ask. I hated being pregnant, probably equally as much for the attention that I got from strangers as the changes to my body. I liked my friends who would say, “Can we not talk about baby stuff?” because I think when you’re pregnant you start to feel like you’re not you anymore, and all anyone asks about is the baby and your pregnancy and when you’re due. I threw a tantrum once in my office. I was like, “I am not just a vessel! I’m still me!” I put a ban on anyone in my office asking me baby questions. They weren’t allowed to talk about it. And I loved going to work because it was the only place where I could just be me.

SM: Pregnant women and new moms act like they’ve joined an exclusive book club and then treat us non-moms like we haven’t read the book. What’s with the exclusivity?
Risa Green: Suffering is what happens. I remember thinking I know what it’s like to be sleep deprived. Until you’ve got a baby you just don’t…unless you’ve been in some kind of Turkish prison and they’ve been dropping water on your head all day. And there’s definitely that moms’ club, where you can just look at someone and know they have kids even if they’re not with them. They’ll just look at you like, “I’ve been there.”