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The Truth about Pregnancy, Babies and Mommyhood
SM: What are the pros of having a child?
Risa Green: I don’t want to sound like those people.
SM: Oh, but do.
Risa Green: It is a level of love that you just don’t experience. I had some issues with my mom before I had kids and I remember thinking that she wanted me to love her as much as she loved me. And now that I have kids I realize that’s impossible. You can never love anybody as much as you love your children. They’re these people that you made. I look at my kids and I’m like, “I made you! And you’re relatively normal.” It’s amazing.
SM: Can you retain your sense of self and still be a mom?
Risa Green: I think yes, definitely. I think you have to just want to. A lot of people, when they have kids, are not interested in being friends with people who don’t have kids because it’s just not their life anymore. But I think if you really love your friends and if you’re committed to your job then, yeah. You have to make a lot of sacrifices and there’s guilt that is unspeakable, but you can do it.
More Marriage Advice and Relationship Advice
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Pressure to be in a Relationship
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Your comments
| leisle -- Westwood | |
| It is so refreshing to hear someone speak honestly about motherhood. I do want kids but I am scared to death of becoming the stereotypical "mom." I don't want a mom haircut (I'm not a cropped bob type person) and I definitely don not want to have to wear mom jeans. Thanks for showing that you can be a mom and still be yourself. | |
| nicole007 -- San Diego | |
| I'm not going to lie a part of me is terrified of getting married and having kids. It's just so generic. I know most people say it's the beginning of their lives, but to me it seems like the end. A part of me feels crazy for thinking this because we're programmed to want to "settle" down but I can't help it. I think about waking up early to go to a soccer game and I just would rather not. And I love kids, don't get me wrong. Obviously I'm just not ready, but will I ever be? Please someone tell me I'm not crazy. | |
| Olivia -- Tucson | |
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Finally someone speaking about motherhood to our generation! I've always said that I never want to have kids, but that's because I don't want to be one of THOSE moms. It's nice to hear someone saying that you can do it and retain your sense of self, even if that self doesn't love every baby she sees or feels like starting a family ASAP.
| lavidadulce | |
| I've absolutely never wanted to have children. I'm sure for some they might be great, but to me, they've traditionally served to keep women locked into a limiting and unappreciated lifestyle. As women are "expected" to want to reproduce, I think it's fantastic that more and more are pursuing fulfilling careers outside of the home--careers that are recognized and appreciated in society. | |
| nat -- East Patchogue | |
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I have to confess I am a mom, and I have alot of issues with this article. I understand that not everyone is ready for parenthood. I wasn't ready for it either. I have 3 children and in some aspects I am still not ready for it. But, to me this article is just going to scare woman who are on the fence about having kids. I mean Risa didn't say anything positive about having kids until the 2nd to last question. I am no advocate of abortion at all, but I was left with the question if you are so adverse to having children, why did you have one. At one point she sounded almost allergic to them. She took great strides to spell out all the cons, and suffering. And believe me there are cons, and plenty of suffering. Like when your 4 year old get's you pulled over by the police for mooning the cop behind you. Then proceeds to scream "please don't arrest my mommy!" No, I didn't get a ticket, the cop let me go, fighting back laughter. These moments exsist yes, but they are the colorful moments that make life worth while. As much as there are con's there are wonderful moments too. Like hearing "Mama" for the first time, seeing their first steps, and I for one loved being pregnant. I loved and love every part of having my children. I also don't consider myself "one of those mom's". I work, and everything. I just feel that Risa is going out of her way to paint children as a bad experience. And I am left with feeling the need to put a positive spin on it, because for alot of us we find being a parent an enjoyable, and positive experience. |
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| jazminsmommy -- Greenbrier | |
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Well i am a mother to a 2 year old and i wasnt ready either but i did what i had to do to make sure she was healthy and to take care of myself when i was pregnant and now 2 years later i couldnt imagine my life without her
| summer-girl | |
| congrats Jazmin! I hope I'm like you! | |
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