SM: Why the “Oh childbirth’s not so painful, everything is so rosy.” Why can’t people just be honest about what it’s like?
Risa Green: One reason is that people forget. I also think they don’t want to scare you. Because I’ve definitely been in situations where people are pregnant and they’ve read my book and they call me crying. You don’t want to freak people out completely.
SM: Sometimes I’m unsure of how to treat my pregnant friends. Are there certain questions you should ask?
Risa Green: No, but there are questions not to ask. I hated being pregnant, probably equally as much for the attention that I got from strangers as the changes to my body. I liked my friends who would say, “Can we not talk about baby stuff?” because I think when you’re pregnant you start to feel like you’re not you anymore, and all anyone asks about is the baby and your pregnancy and when you’re due. I threw a tantrum once in my office. I was like, “I am not just a vessel! I’m still me!” I put a ban on anyone in my office asking me baby questions. They weren’t allowed to talk about it. And I loved going to work because it was the only place where I could just be me.
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| summer-girl | |
| congrats Jazmin! I hope I'm like you! | |
| jazminsmommy -- Greenbrier | |
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| nat -- East Patchogue | |
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I have to confess I am a mom, and I have alot of issues with this article. I understand that not everyone is ready for parenthood. I wasn't ready for it either. I have 3 children and in some aspects I am still not ready for it. But, to me this article is just going to scare woman who are on the fence about having kids. I mean Risa didn't say anything positive about having kids until the 2nd to last question. I am no advocate of abortion at all, but I was left with the question if you are so adverse to having children, why did you have one. At one point she sounded almost allergic to them. She took great strides to spell out all the cons, and suffering. And believe me there are cons, and plenty of suffering. Like when your 4 year old get's you pulled over by the police for mooning the cop behind you. Then proceeds to scream "please don't arrest my mommy!" No, I didn't get a ticket, the cop let me go, fighting back laughter. These moments exsist yes, but they are the colorful moments that make life worth while. As much as there are con's there are wonderful moments too. Like hearing "Mama" for the first time, seeing their first steps, and I for one loved being pregnant. I loved and love every part of having my children. I also don't consider myself "one of those mom's". I work, and everything. I just feel that Risa is going out of her way to paint children as a bad experience. And I am left with feeling the need to put a positive spin on it, because for alot of us we find being a parent an enjoyable, and positive experience. |
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| lavidadulce | |
| I've absolutely never wanted to have children. I'm sure for some they might be great, but to me, they've traditionally served to keep women locked into a limiting and unappreciated lifestyle. As women are "expected" to want to reproduce, I think it's fantastic that more and more are pursuing fulfilling careers outside of the home--careers that are recognized and appreciated in society. | |
| Olivia -- Tucson | |
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| nicole007 -- San Diego | |
| I'm not going to lie a part of me is terrified of getting married and having kids. It's just so generic. I know most people say it's the beginning of their lives, but to me it seems like the end. A part of me feels crazy for thinking this because we're programmed to want to "settle" down but I can't help it. I think about waking up early to go to a soccer game and I just would rather not. And I love kids, don't get me wrong. Obviously I'm just not ready, but will I ever be? Please someone tell me I'm not crazy. | |
| leisle -- Westwood | |
| It is so refreshing to hear someone speak honestly about motherhood. I do want kids but I am scared to death of becoming the stereotypical "mom." I don't want a mom haircut (I'm not a cropped bob type person) and I definitely don not want to have to wear mom jeans. Thanks for showing that you can be a mom and still be yourself. | |