Avoid Work Rage

Why is it okay for men to fly off the handle in a fit of rage, but when women do it, they are out of control? You can chalk it up to PMS or an inability to cope, but women get a bad rap if they show their emotions at work. It is another example of a double standard.

Let me tell you about Frank. Frank was a division president at one of the companies I used to work for. Frank had a volatile temper, and would throw a temper tantrum when he was angry. He was aggressive, loud, and childish—a real bully. On occasion, he would call my office about a problem and then start ranting and raving on the telephone. If there were other people in my office, I would hold the receiver away from my ear so that they could hear him screaming at me, and we would all get a good laugh. But it really wasn’t funny, and what was most perplexing to me was that management never criticized him for his inappropriate and abusive behavior. They would shrug their shoulders and say, “That’s just Frank.” Conversely, at one point, I let my anger get out of control with Frank, and the conversation escalated into a heated war of words. The vice president of human resources reprimanded me for not being deferential enough to a division president.

Dynamic leaders exemplify incredible skill when it comes to controlling their emotions. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mean to insinuate they are insensitive or cold, but they maintain their professionalism at all times. The reality is that losing your cool is unprofessional, regardless of your gender. As a woman climbing to the top, that is not the image you want your associates to have of you. If you are truly stressed out, and you think you might fly off the handle, take a break from the situation. Come back to it when you have calmed down and pulled yourself together.

“Women sometimes let their emotions get in the way of business. We had a horrible client once that we actually had to fire because she would scream and carry on. It just wasn’t acceptable,” said Iris Salsman, who owns Salsman Lundgren Public Relations.