Mr. Gigabyte Co-worker
When your computer downloads a virus, Mr. Gigabyte is the guy to text SOS for help. He’s your Knight in Shining Armor of the 21st Century. But you don’t have to limit your awkward conversations to hard drives and modems. This is the co-worker who deserves your famous snickerdoodles on his birthday. He’ll return the kindness by fixing your computer first when the office is attacked by an e-mail virus.

Bossy Bitch Co-worker
With a “Type A” (on second thought, make that “A+”) personality, this co-worker is determined to turn your nine-to-five into a nightmare. Always yelling and quick to lose her temper, there’s nothing you can do to please her. She’s climbing the ladder to success and you’re just one of the rungs. Say something nice or don’t say anything at all; just steer clear of her wrath.

Cubicle Cutie Co-worker
Ah, your only dose of eye-candy sanity during the eight-hour workday. Well dressed and well groomed, this co-worker tends to smile a lot in your general direction. For a while, you admire his cuteness from afar (or in your case, across cubicles). One day, he asks you out on a lunch date. And when you accept he asks, “Do you mind if I bring my girlfriend, too?” Stick to the “no dating co-workers” rule—trust us, it’s there for a reason (unless you enjoy awkwardness before 10 a.m.).

Whether they match one of these categories, or deserve a whole separate one of their own, your co-workers certainly aren’t going to change any time soon. So get what you can out of ‘em (see above instructions) and leave it at that. Maybe it’s best to accept the fact that your social life will be better outside of the office.


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