Many women see apologizing as a way to settle a situation. They believe that if they give in, then the other side will too. But it doesn’t always work that way. There are situations in which you should not be apologizing. Professional coach Beverly Berner says that she tries not to throw it out there anymore. “Now I’m saying it only when I truly am sorry,” she says.

Count the number of times that you apologize in a day. Pay attention to how casually you throw the phrase around. Once you are aware that you are doing it inappropriately, stop yourself before you say it. It is an admirable quality to be forthcoming and accept responsibility for something you’ve done wrong, but it is a character weakness to accept blame for things you didn’t do.

 Excerpted from The Girls' Guide to Power and Success by Susan Wilson Solovic. Copyright © 2001 Susan Wilson Solovic. Published by AMACOM Books, a division of American Management Association, New York, NY. Used with permission. All rights reserved. www.amacombooks.org.