Early Bird: Do you need anything?

You: Could you let people know that if they need to reach me, they can call me at home. If I hear the phone, I’ll pick it up.

Early Bird: Oh, Big Fat Honkin’ Liar, of course I will! You go back to bed now. Don’t worry about anything.

You: Thanks, Early Bird. Have a good day.

Then hang up. Exit as swiftly as possible. In layman’s terms: Git yo ass outta there!

Reprinted with permission of Red Wheel/Weiser LLC. The Sick Day Handbook: Strategies and Techniques for Faking It by Ellie Bishop is available at local bookstores or directly from the publisher at (800) 423-7087 or www.conari.com. Photo © Forca/Fotolia.