Why work friends can hurt.
Let’s say one of you moves up, can you still be friends? Or worse, what if your friend becomes your boss?

“If you’re both vying for the same promotion, it could cause some tension in your personal relationship,” says Lorenz. “A change in your buddy's rank can put a strain on the friendship, especially if you report directly to your friend.”

And even the chummiest of office pals can get on each other’s nerves. “Even if you are best friends, there is always going to be a bad day when one of you is frustrated with the other about a work-related project,” says Farrar. “You can hold a grudge with a co-worker but not with a work friend.”

Adds Rapp, “One of my co-workers and I got into a huge fight and didn't speak to one another for three months. This person sat directly next to me in those low cubes so you are literally face to face… ugh, it was terrible.”

Most importantly, you’ve got a job to do! “You may also find it difficult to tell your friend that you need to focus on work when she pops by your cube for a chat,” says Lorenz. “You don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings, but you also need to get your work done.”

Work friend warnings.
Because Lorenz hears from working women all the time, she’s learned a thing or 200 about how to achieve that balance between you-the-professional and you-the-professional-socialite. Here’s her advice on work friends:

  • Don’t exclude others. Having friends at work is about building camaraderie, not fostering cliques.
  • Do establish boundaries. Depending on what department you work in, some information about co-workers or confidential information are off limits.
  • Don’t spend more time in your friend’s cube than your own.
  • Do watch your IM and e-mail. Being careless with these conveniences could blow up in your face.
  • Don’t be guilty of TMI (too much information). Be mindful of your personal conversations.