Big-ticket activities.
“One time my friends wanted to go to Palm Springs for the weekend, but I had literally no money in my bank account,” says Sarah, 23. “I told them I couldn’t go but they whined and said ‘It won’t be any fun without you!’ and my friend said she’d loan me the money for the weekend. I finally agreed, but it was miserable. I couldn’t enjoy myself because every time I spent any money I worried about paying my friend back.”

How to deal: Frankel says: “Honesty is the best policy. [Say] ‘That sounds like a wonderful activity and I would love to join you, but my budget just can't afford it. Thanks for including me and let me know next time—maybe I'll be in a better financial situation.’ Then do not succumb to someone who says, ‘I'll loan you the money’ or ‘I'll pay for you.’ Your response needs to be a firm, ‘I'm so glad you're such a good friend, but I really do want to pay my way.’” Remember, true friends won't want to drive you in debt just to spend time together.

Round-buying.
You meet your colleagues at a bar to celebrate “Kiss-Ass-Kathy’s” promotion. Kathy suddenly proclaims she’s buying a round of drinks (that her subsequent raise can afford) and everyone remains in a festive mood, as if the obligation of covering other rounds is the last thing on their minds. You, on the other hand, think, “Great, thanks ‘Kiss-Ass’ for putting my back against the wall.”