I have to say that men who are or were in jail for whatever reason are usually Sociopaths with NO CONSCIENCE! 1 out of 25 people are, and I was recently engaged to a hot, super sweet, sensitive guy who even liked to watch TOP MODEL with me but was in jail before, and I accepted it - BIG MISTAKE!!! BECAUSE of the time he wasted in jail, I found out he was looking online for discreet sexual encounters behind my back and surely cheating on me! I had no idea, he would come home, spoil me, travel with me and tell me how he wants me to have his kids being the good girl I am - but being the sociopath he is, and doing that behind my back, then kicking me out by throwing all my stuff outside, and not feeling bad about it, I have to advise NOT TO date jailbirds! He ruined my hopes and dreams temporarily because I gave up so much to be with him and now I have to start over living at home and I am a college educated, sweet, good looking girl! He fooled me because they learn a lot in the slammer from other convicts and will fool you too. I don't care if Gabrielle from Desperate Housewives did it, they are BAD NEWS and in jail for a reason, because they have VERY SERIOUS mental issues that you do not have any idea about until your life is ruined and you sit there wondering what on earth just happened? Whether the crime was white or blue collar, it doesn't matter, sociopaths are everywhere, check out this website called www.takebackyourheart.com and you will see and understand why good girls date bad boys and they ruin them. Be strong ladies and set your standards higher no matter how cute they may be, they lie! There are plenty of good boys with a wild side - go for them, at least they won't cheat on you and then throw all your stuff out after they say they want to marry you! Most girls who date the bad boys are codependent in a lot of ways, but let me tell you - MEN DO NOT CHANGE! YOU CAN NOT MAKE THEM, as soon as you learn that the sooner you will be truly happy with yourself and your partner. Seriously...go to www.takebackyourheart.com it made sense of it all for me, and tells exactly the way a sociopath acts and how he fools girls no matter how smart and savvy they think they are. So be a savvy miss and STAY AWAY from jailbirds, and visit the website so you know what to look for!
|LILA -- Los Angeles|
|I agree with what was said about women trying to change men and being co-dependent. Many prisoners are incarcerated as a result of actions attributed to serious emotional issues and dire circumstances. I would not advise "free" women to PURSUE intimate relationships with men in prison, especially when they are not in a relationships with them before they are locked up because you will inevitably inherit all the baggage that comes with an incarcerated individual--co-dependency is something that entraps (or imprisons, if you will) many women and this is a sure-fire way to stay locked in that mode.|
|Olivia -- Tuscon|
This is hilarious. I love it.
|Lola -- Boston|
|I love the tongue-in-cheek tone of this article. It's so strange how some women actually do date men who are in jail at that point in time. I think I'll stick to meeting guys who've never committed a felony.|
|Firebird -- Delano|
I've been a prison guard for almost 4 years. It never ceases to amaze me how the inmates manipulate the women who write to them. And they DO "cheat", so to speak, most of them are writing to more than one woman at a time and orchestrate their visits so that they aren't found out. In my opinion, most inmates have dedicated their lives to using, manipulating, and harming good people because they are predators who perceive kindness as a weakness to be exploited. I would be absolutely sick if my sister or best friend "fell in love" with an inmate.
I just broke-up with an ex-con. When I look back at the relationship I ask myself "What was I thinking?" I dated him for four months. He had been in and out of prison for most of his life, lived with his mother (claiming he was living there to assist her), had a horrible history of assault/battery which he did not tell me until later after he grabbed me and pushed me on my sofa. In addition I had to call the cops on him twice for threatening me and going into jealous rages over imaginary things. He kept claiming he loved me so much and we were meant to be together. I was beginning to care for him and in the beginning we had a great time. The sex was totally great and passionate, which also made it difficult to leave! I hate to admit that.
He also was extremely narcissistic, always late, talking about how women were always after him in the streets etc. He never worked more than two days a week at odd jobs. I assume because of his record that he couln't be hired. He was also on probation for dealing drugs (so he claims, I think it was also assault against women). All of this and he was 54 years old! It took me about five times to really leave him, because I cared for him when he was not raging. I also wanted so hard to believe he would change and get help. He kept saying he was sorry and would get therapy. He stayed with me for two months almost everyday and kept saying he would help me pay for the bills, this never happened. He would always start and argument and say that is why he did not give me the money. He is a total nutcase and I would recommend never dating a guy in or out of prison. Anyone who can commit a crime that ends them up in prison is not an overall good person or a good bet for a lasting relationship. I am slowly recovering, but I am still scared of him, because of his history of battering women and assaulting men.
|Thank you for sharing that website alyssa, what an amazing story. That is exactly what my boyfriend is like, exactly the same, every point is something that he does. Is there anyway of changing them, I guess not, I guess they will be like that until they find the perfect girl to settle down with.|
|My question with this is if you have ever dated anyone who was in prison, or if you are just making a joke of it. I personally agree that setting out to find a man in prison is truly absurd, but I know people who have just stuck by their men after incarceration. It is unfortunate, but it happens. I have been blessed to be with a wonderful man of God who I dated before. It has been difficult, "why do you want to date a man in prison?" "Are you desperate" "Are you SERIOUS!" All these and more have com up from friends and family alike. I can say for me, I feel that it is a rarity. I believe that my relationship is ordained by God...some however, who have mail order jail men, well for them I feel sorry. It is just another way to pass the time. So weigh out your reason for loving. Figure out your purpose for the relationship. But most of all, follow your heart.|
|Alyssa sweetie... most people are sociopaths, confused and crazy. You dont have to go to prison for that. :)|
I was a part of a Christian ministry that does advocacy work for men and women in prison and fell in love with an inmate. Everyone bad mouthed our relationship and couldn’t understand how i could love a man behind bars. At the time I was in medical school and everyone said “Oh ur gonna be a doctor”…he just with u cause u will have a lot of money. I didn’t have low self-esteem, was voted most attractive in high school, and I wasn’t a fat girl. (weighed and still weigh 130lbs now and im 5’8). They asked me how could I “wait” on a man behind bars…I never “waited”….my life went on. I wasn’t sitting my the phone every second and stopped living my life. I was 100% faithful to him but I also enjoyed life, finished med school, and ad a life outside of him. And I was 100 times happier with my “jail bird” than my friends whose men were out in the world with them.
He had a 15yr sentence for robbery and when i met him he had already served 7yrs. I dated him for 3yrs (while he was incarcerated) and then he got out early on parole. I married him and we have a beautiful baby boy.
We have been married now for 5 yrs and he loves me and treats me like a QUEEN! He is my BESTFRIEND, loves me for me, and Lord knows there is no better fit for me than him. I absolutely LOVE my husband. And if I could go back I wouldn’t change 1 thing. No one wil understand the “prison relationship.” Unless ur in it. And I don’t really blame anyone cause if I was on the outside looking in maybe I wouldn’t understand it either.
The point of my story is in life u have to make your own decisions because only u know what best for u. I read the "horror" stories in this post and wanted to bring up that the stuff said isn’t true for everyone! U can’t live your life based on other ppl expectations of u.
I dont encourage women to seek out a "jail bird" nor do i believe all men behind bars are "date worthy"...and yes sum are con artist and use women. But Not all men behind bars are con artist.
When i met my husband he knew from the beginning if was acting up in prison and prolonging his stay in there, he didn’t need to count on me being there for him. I set ground rules and we both did our parts. Yes i supported him financially while he was locked up...and ppl said he was using me...but he NEVER asked me for money. I did it cause it was MY choice and his family didn’t support him.
Every situation is different. Dont live your life based on what ppl say. None of those ppl who were telling me bad thing about him or telling me no to date him would for 1 second let me tell them who they could or could not date. Don’t make crazy outlandish choices now tho. Asses the man u are dating and make a wise choice…don’t be with just because u love the feeling he gives u…have substance in the relationship.
And to all those who look down on women like me who “waited” on a man behind bars…I truly hope 1 day all of u are down and out…and the whole world gives up on u too and u then tell me how u feel about women who love men behind bars.
Ive never in my life been as happy as I am now with any man. I love my husband.
I totally agree with Lisa4! Tell them girl...
You guys shouldn't speak upon something that you haven't experienced. I myself am dating a man behind bars and am by far the happiest i've ever been in my life! I didn't meet him while he was in jail though, we were dating 2 years prior to his arrest. Love speaks for itself and I hope you all who are talking down on girls who date guys in jail check yourselfs before you judge others! No one is perfect, so leave it all up to God. Okay! Thank you that is all!