Are you a Booty Call?
In a previous column, I advised women to trust their instincts as well as their orgasms. Sex releases a hormone in women called oxytocin (also known as the cuddle hormone). But if there’s nothing there to cuddle with on an emotional level—if the experience is bereft of a genuine sense of intimacy—then orgasm could trigger a sense of sadness and regret.
But, what about him? Are there any sexual clues that might give you some insight into how he really feels about you? Or to put it another way, after sex is he a “cuddler,” a “rollover-er” or an “up-and-outer?”
If he’s a cuddler, you probably have nothing to worry about. Even if he doesn’t fully know it, lust is doing its thing and pushing him towards infatuation and romantic love.
If, on the other hand, he does the “rollover” after sex and starts snoring, don’t be alarmed. He might still be a keeper. Men and women experience sexual response in different ways. As an example, men have to develop the requisite sexual tension to accomplish ejaculation, also known as the propulsive orgasm. It takes a whole lot of blood going into the genitals to accomplish this, as well as a whole lot of blood going out. It’s exhausting, to say the least. Post-ejaculation, men’s bodies grind to a halt. Since women have no need to ejaculate, blood circulates longer in the genitals—it’s slower going in and slower going out—so women remain in the aroused state: Hence the female capacity for multiple orgasms. So if he rolls over and starts snoring, cut him some slack. Sure he could use a little retraining—why can’t he fall asleep while holding you in his arms—but his heart may be in the right place.
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| -- Marin County |
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I don't know, Morgan. You both would have to experience each other in a different way to start.
But the woman can lead it. If she decides she doesn't want to be his Love Thang, she can say it to him, and then carry on with her life (and mean it, too, and not get weak and give it up again). If he decides that he wants more than that with her after all, he'll be back — the right way.
And, my bad — my blogs are at http://blogs.marinij.com/katwilder .. not blobs!!!!
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Can booty calls ever develop into relationships?? I've always wondered that...
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| -- Marin County |
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Just by the way she herself describes the relationship — "I've been hooking up with this guy" — pretty much says it all to me. If you check in with yourself and listen to what you say and feel about what's going on, you'll be in touch with your "gut."
Like what Dr. Kerner says — If he wants to see you and do things with you outside of the bedroom (or wherever you're trysting), then he's interested in you for things other than sex — regardless of what he says. If not, well, save yourself the heartache of wanting more than what's there.
Read all my blogs at http://blobs.marinij.com/katwilder
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