Are you a Booty Call?
It’s the “up-and-outer” that worries me. The guy who, right after sex, is up checking his messages, organizing his CDs or talking about all the work he has to do and the busy morning ahead. Just as women experience post-orgasmic regret, men experience pre-orgasmic anticipation. Men will say all sorts of things and get themselves into all sorts of situations and lower their standards in ways that women cannot fathom just to have sex, so powerful is the desire for orgasm (and why the aging toothless prostitute is still able to turn a tidy profit).
Hence, right after sex, many men experience their own form of post-orgasmic regret, a sense of entrapment and desire to flee. Some anthropologists argue that this in an evolutionary response—women have a limited amount of eggs and men have an unlimited amount of sperm. So women are going to be choosier about whom they sleep with while men are going to be more indiscriminate, and then consequently want to get out when they’re with a woman with whom they’re not interested in mating with. So let’s cut to the chase. He may be saying all the right things, but his actions and sexual signals post-sex may be saying otherwise. Cherish the cuddler, retrain the rollover-er and when it comes to the up-and-outer, beat him to the door and don’t look back!
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| -- Marin County |
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I don't know, Morgan. You both would have to experience each other in a different way to start.
But the woman can lead it. If she decides she doesn't want to be his Love Thang, she can say it to him, and then carry on with her life (and mean it, too, and not get weak and give it up again). If he decides that he wants more than that with her after all, he'll be back — the right way.
And, my bad — my blogs are at http://blogs.marinij.com/katwilder .. not blobs!!!!
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Can booty calls ever develop into relationships?? I've always wondered that...
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| -- Marin County |
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Just by the way she herself describes the relationship — "I've been hooking up with this guy" — pretty much says it all to me. If you check in with yourself and listen to what you say and feel about what's going on, you'll be in touch with your "gut."
Like what Dr. Kerner says — If he wants to see you and do things with you outside of the bedroom (or wherever you're trysting), then he's interested in you for things other than sex — regardless of what he says. If not, well, save yourself the heartache of wanting more than what's there.
Read all my blogs at http://blobs.marinij.com/katwilder
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