Are You a Rebound?
How to deal.
If your guy starts whining about how much he misses his ex or you get a vibe that you’re just his bridge gal, go ahead and cry if you need to. It’s hard to realize someone was just using you or wasting your time, especially if you’ve fallen in love. If you’ve started getting goo-goo eyes but know the relationship won’t go anywhere, it’s best to end it to avoid more pain. “He’s going to leave you as soon as he feels more confident about dating again because he’s practicing with you,” Dr. Gilda says.
Couldn’t care less about him practicing because you’re doing the same or you don’t want a long-term commitment? Do your thing! Rebound relationships can be fun. Just know what you’re up for.
While not all rebound relationships go bust, finding long-lasting and real love on the rebound isn’t very common. “If you think that you’re going to be the exception to the rule, chances are you won’t,” Dr. Gilda says. So, between relationships, take a breather.
Photo © Sladjan Lukic/Fotolia
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Hi Girls and Guys
I'm the one rebounding. I had a marriage of 21 years and finally ended it. I had found men who were sexually interested and went for them after feeling abandoned for about 9 years in the marriage. But then I found my current BF and we've been together a year. Lately though, I'm regretting staying with him and so I'm reading articles like this to understand. I know that I don't want a future with him, and he's not talking about us for OUR future anyway. I want substance and mental closeness, not be the girl by his side while he has a glass of whiskey in the other while he watches cage fighting.
Alice in Colorado
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I really don't think my current relationship is a rebound. It was weird how it happened--I'd only been out of my last relationship for a month when I met my BF, and we were both very up front about the fact that we were not looking for anything serious or long-term; however, we HAVE grown very close very quickly, and I'm confident in saying we ARE in love. (My last relationship was...not a normal one--I had detached from my ex emotionally long before we broke up. I was ready for love, but not in a hurry when I met my current BF.)
We are already talking marriage, in fact.
JM
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