Because once you invite the dude in, he’s looking for the green light for sex. “I’d be checking for contraceptives,” says Sean, 31.

Say hello to your electric friend.
Before a big date, many men swear by an important ritual. They spend a little time alone and… uhhh, clean out their pipes, if you know what I mean. That way, they’re more relaxed and can behave like a civilized person. I don’t pretend to be an expert on the inner workings of women’s plumbing, so to speak, but if you’re wound up but don't want to avoid sex on the first date, why not spend a little quality time with yourself? Maybe invite your electric friend over for a get-together before you go out.

Remember, you’re in control.
You are the master of your domain. If you want to avoid having sex on the first date, and make him wait two, three, ten, you have the power. “The woman has the upper hand,” says Kevin, 28. “The guy has got to work for it.” So, remain in control. Wear something sexy, but not slutty. Don’t get too physical. And maybe cancel that make-out session in favor of a peck and a hug.

Save that fun stuff for the next date.

John Crawford is a freelance writer, and a friend to all women.

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