The bad date. Chances are, if you’ve dated for a significant amount of time in your adult life, you’ve been there. And, if not, a word of caution: You’re not immune. Before a gal’s dating life is over (and she’s settled down with that perfect person for her), she will most likely encounter this dreaded dating scenario. Having been on a few, I just cringe. And if you’ve been there, you’re probably cringing too. It goes something like this…

You met online and everything seemed just fine. You talked on the phone and things went well. You finally agree to a lunch date/dinner plans/an afternoon adventure and when the guy shows up, he’s a toad. Or worse, a jerk. Or worse, a complete figment of his own imagination. Or worst of all, he seems perfectly fantastic except that he’s looking at you like you’re a toad/jerk/figment of your own imagination. And all you can think is “Get me out of here!”

Fear not, my fabulous single friends. Below are some time-tested ways to wiggle out of your next bad date.

Fake an illness.
This excuse works equally well in the days/hours leading up to a date you’re not sure you want to go on, and once a bad date is in progress. Food poisoning and/or the stomach flu are the most reliable excuses. No guy in his right mind is going to question whether or not your frequent trips to the restroom are for real. A killer migraine is also an easy out, while faking a sore throat and cough really only works if you’re a decent actress.

Fake an emergency.
The savvy single gal is like a Boy Scout—always prepared. Which means that before any date you’re not totally psyched about, you should enlist the help of your friends by setting up at least one, if not two, check in calls throughout the night. One should be about thirty minutes into the date (to make sure things are off to a good start), and another should follow about 45 minutes later (to ensure things haven’t taken a surprising turn for the worse). Set up code words for whether the date is good or bad (Good date: “Congratulations! I knew you’d pass the bar.” Bad date: “She what? Is she okay? What hospital?”) If things are going well, your date will never know about The Friendship Pact. And if it’s failing miserably, his feelings won’t be hurt when you excuse yourself to rush to your mother’s/sister’s/best friend’s side at the hospital after her car accident/rollerblading spill/salsa dancing catastrophe.