“No,” says Tom Martin, 32. “I believe it is in horribly bad taste to tell someone you love him if he's with someone else. If you really love someone, and you want to see him happy, then you'll keep your mouth shut.”

But if you’re sure he’s with the wrong girl, don’t you owe it to him to let him know how you feel?

“You don't owe it to him to tell him, but rather you owe it to yourself to tell him. You don't want to be kicking yourself for the rest of your life because he is the one that got away,” says Nancy Slotnick, author of Turn Your Cablight On, Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less.


Can you speak up if he’s not spoken for?
Let’s say you bump into your ex and you’re both still single, now what are the rules?

“If he's single and you feel strongly, I say go for it. What do you have to lose?” says Monica Mason, 31.

Ayn Laherty, 28, disagrees. She says, “If he was so great, he would be telling you how much he loves you. Girls deserve better than to beg for love.”

She brings up a good point. Whether it’s too late or too early, should the girl ever say “I love you” first?

Slotnick says, “It is okay for the girl to say it first, but it is much better if the guy does. If you say ‘I love you’ and he says it back, then it is hard to know if he is just doing so out of guilt or a fear of hurting you. If he takes it upon himself to say it, then you know you're in.”

If you still want to make your feelings known, Slotnick says to forget the three little words, and try four or even six. She suggests starting with “I’m falling for you” or “I think I’m falling for you.” She explains, “This way you can see his reaction without as much risk.”