No. 3: The older man
This guy’s got the sexual experience to peak your interest. So what if he has no idea who Justin Timberlake is and he thinks American Pie
is a dessert, you can still have fascinating conversations about IRAs and retirement plans. And eating dinner at 4:30 p.m. is much better on the digestive system, plus think of all the sleep you’ll catch up on when you’re both in bed by nine o’clock.
No. 2: The nerd
OK, so before you the only sex he had was of the cyber variety, but you can put those dexterous fingers (the plus-side of playing World of War Craft
all day) to good use. And the next day you can look for a mention on his blog—you’ll practically be famous. Don’t lose his number though; when your computer crashes you’ll be glad you played strip Dungeons and Dragons
And No. 1: The knight in shining armor
You’ve got a vision of him riding up on his white steed to rescue you from your tower in the castle. It’s a nice image but hopefully you’ve got some time to kill. Armor isn’t exactly the easiest thing to move in so it might be awhile before he manages to dismount his horse and climb the spiral stair case. But once there, he’ll give you some loving, medieval style, which of course is of the never-had-a-bath variety, how sexy.
It looks like you’ll have a bright (literally—that armor is quite reflective) future if you get together with any of these men. Now you just have to decide which one to hold out for …