Billingsley’s case is not unique. I know a guy who once went on a very steamy first date with a woman he met at an open mic night at a coffee house. The next day, still feeling the glow of the night before, he stupidly told his brother all about it. A week later, the guy was singing at the coffeehouse and was excited when the girl showed up. Unfortunately, the brother introduced himself to the girl as my pal’s brother adding, “Do you sing? I hear you’re real good at hitting those high notes.”

My friend didn’t get a second date.

To sum up, if a man does talk up his current flame to his friends, it’s either to say, “Yeah, I met this girl,” “Yeah, we’re getting married,” “Yeah, we’re having a kid” or “Yeah, we’re getting divorced.” Otherwise, she never comes up in conversation.

“To be honest, the less a guy says to his friends about a woman he likes, the better,” says Stephen Douglas, a southern California mortgage broker. “If you’re happy and he’s not, your happiness is like twisting a knife in his heart. If you’re miserable and tell your friend, he feels like your bad luck will rub off on him.”