SM: I’ve been broken up with in pretty crummy ways. Don’t I have a right to hate my exes?
Evan: OK, if your boyfriend was a prick, then yes, you can hate him. You have every right to hate him if he did something wrong. But if you have a loving relationship and it doesn’t work, I don’t see any reason for hatred to come into the picture as much as sad acceptance. We gave it a good run. And we built up so much together, and we meant so much to each other, do we have to throw this all out? What’s the best way to proceed so we can both be healthy and happy?

SM: But someone always has to be the bad guy. Someone has to bring it up. How do you do that without being hated?
Evan: The question is: How would you like for someone to do it to you? It’s not much more complex than that. There’s no one answer, but I suggest that if you’re ever thinking of breaking up, think: “How would I want someone to break up with me and what’s the most painless way it’s going to happen?” Well, it’s certainly face-to-face. It doesn’t have a time limit. It’s not before you run to work. And you don’t place blame. It’s not, “You’ve done this wrong,” because that implies that they can do something different to get you back.