The Breakup
SM: Seriously?
Evan: Ask yourself the value. That’s the thing with honesty. It’s great. It’s hard to be against honesty. But there are times when not saying everything that you’ve experienced, everything that you think, is a good thing. It’s understanding the cost/benefit amounts of “What do I gain from divulging this information?”
So if we’ve broken up and now we’re getting back together, what do you get from knowing that I dated this other girl, and I kind of really liked her a lot, and she was different than you in this way, and she was worse than you in this way but there were other ways in which she was easier. How does this benefit you? It doesn’t benefit you at all. I’d just as soon say—that was the past, glad to be back with you now, how do we move forward?
SM: Well, how do you know if something is a breakup?
Evan: Well, before the end of the conversation, I’ll say, “All right, are we taking a break. Does that mean we’re seeing other people or just not seeing each other right now? What does this mean? Because I don’t want to cheat on you. But let’s get our definitions straight.” So you define the terms of what the break is.
Your comments
Displaying comments
1 to 1 out of
1
| |
|
Ha, this sounds like so many arguments I've had with past boyfriends! I guess I tend to attract this type of guy for some reason: the one that will storm out after a fight and then come back the next day on his knees. I've put up with it a few times, so this gave a really good perspective on how to deal with all the issues if it ever happens again. Hopefully I've ditched all the crazy men in my life for now, though.
|