Oh my gosh I know what you mean. I feel so embarrassed FOR the interviewers like Ryan Seacrest because I feel like they're being so ridiculous. There were so many awkward silences and you could tell so many of the celebs thought he was ridiculous. And Maria Menounous (not a fan of her) would ask one celeb about some random gossip story of another (She asked Kate Winslet about some Cameron Diaz rumor). SO awkward.

This is so true! I know two couples that have already broken up since January 1.

I agree. People haven't changed in the past few decades, but society has. It's simply become more acceptable for couples to get divorced. Before, people didn't have the option and stayed in unhappy marriages. Now, they can get out and pursue happiness no matter how old they are.

I agree! It's always nice to have the monthly check-in with your body to know everything's all right.

These are super yummy! I made them and everyone loved them.

I love it! And Johnny Depp happens to be my favorite too...Do guys freak out about not finding someone like we do?

He is so cheating. It's hard to let go, but you have to. Respect yourself and say bye-bye. You deserve better!

I completely understand and wish I knew what to tell you. I have suffered through eating disorders for years and felt fat at a size 5, 7, and now completely monsterous at size 10. I wish there was some kind of magig pill I could take to make women fee beautiful no matter what size or shape.

Being a guy, I think he's scared about the change in his life. It's big difference between having fun and being responsible once a baby is in the picture. Another possible issue is that you're at home all day and are looking forward to his coming home so you can unwind from your day. That "dump" within five-minutes of us walking in the door is quite overwhelming as we need to decompress also. Laastly, I know that I don't get as much attention as before, I realize that, but I do need to be told I'm important, loved, and wanted as much as the baby. Good luck.

Welcome to the community. What have you been reading and liking online most recently?

This is great that child prodigys still exist in this day and age. There's hope for us to experience something more in our lifetimes.

Does anyone know if Beck has pieces on tour?

Oh this is such a cool idea. I sure will be trying it. My sweetie will never be able to keep his lips off.HAHAHAHAHA

What about auto insurance? Can you post info on cheap auto insurance?

University in the UK is so much fun. It's social, it's intense and a lot of the responsibility is on you to perform, not your professors to babysit students.

I've never been much for waiting. I'd love to hear a guy's opinion on how long a woman should wait. In my experience it hasn't really made much of a difference. If he's into you, he's into you, whether you give it up, or hold out.

Deana, you are such an inspiration! Another actress who advocates organ donation is Katherine Heigl. I hope their hard work pays off!

Well it sounds like you guys aren't doing to well.To me it sounds like he really doesn't want to make that commitment to you yet.You shouls tell him that maybe if ya'll spent some quality time maybe it wouldn't be so many arguements all the time. If he is really stressing you out then you need to call it quits for your own good and piece of mind. Why waste your time on someone who's not tryna be with you when you could have someone who truly cares for you and is willing to get off work and come see you and spend some time with you. I bet if you said that you needed some good loving he would have no problem coming by after work or whenever. He wouldn't even be worried about the arguing.So all I can give you is advice so I'm going to say this do what you feel is best for you.Hope you find a solution.Write and let me know.~GOOD LUCK~

Wow, it looks like you guys need to have a serious talk about all this. It seems that you may be on different levels of where your relationship stands. If he was really dedicated to helping you through this new, exciting yet difficult time in your life, he would figure out a way to see you more often. I would let him know that you aren't there to yell at him but need to know where he is at in his thoughts on the relationship and where he sees it going. good luck I wish the best for you 2 and the baby!

The truth that I have found is that really it takes falling hard for someone else to really get over my "green shirt" because now to me its not worth it. I still get random texts or gchats that make my stomach turn with butterflies etc from him..but I now know that its not worth anything more than that, and I don't want to risk my relationship now over my "green shirted" punk old boyfriend :) Time really heals if you allow the distance and keep your heart open to something new...God help you all and me too to remember that!

I sometimes think of myself as still being 15. I get nervous and shy and think everyone is going to hate me, even though they're all irrational fears. I think there's something about high school that stays with you forever, but the whole purpose of growing up is that people can fall in love with your quirks, not make fun of them.

Carry a pocket mirror with you so you can make sure you don't have any spinach caught in your teeth!

Fun! I'm definitely adding this to my Christmas list.

Vibrators are an awesome way to spice things up. My guys loves when we add mine into the mix!

Been there!

Now I can pretend I know what I'm talking about with my boyfriend!

My best friend's ex-boyfriend was obsessed with video games. He put one on her computer, hoping she'd get into it. She tried to play, then asked him to help her get to the next level and he wouldn't - he said it was cheating and he wouldn't do it. Hahaha.

We know we should stop thinking about "Green Shirt Guy". We know we should break off all communication with him. We know better than to google him. Whatever, we still do it. As long as we know better than to pursue it for real, and leave it in the day dream drawer - it's all good.

Know what the interesting part is? When his boys finally find girlfriends and/or wives (and it will happen) they will have no qualms about ditching him. Sad, but true. And by then I'm sure you've already moved on to someone more mature. Buh Bye.

Here's another tip: Look for guys in the cooking aisle. Guys picking up spices or flour definitely know how to cook! Frozen pizzas? You might end up doing the cooking.

You can buy 5 wine stoppers at Ikea for $3 or something equally as cheap. And they have fun shapes on the top!

There does need to be a change in thinking. There is little tolerance and understanding until the "right of passage" has been crossed. It's comperable to discussing it with Brick from Anchorman. If you don't remember he claims "I hear their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstration."

My school's career center warned us that potential employers may look on the internet for more information about potential employees. They said they were looking at profiles on myspace to determine what sort of person they are. Definitely important to think about what you're putting out there when you're looking for your first job.

I still am looking for Mr. Right. I will be 62 soon and still searching for someone to spoil me. I am a good catch. At least I think so. I have been an independant woman. However, I seem to attract jerks.
Leenie

I'm sorry, but since we as women get a visit from the not-so-highly-acclaimed Aunt Flow each month, I think we have the right to bitch and blame about whatever we want that week.

I don't think it's a coincidence that every 28 days my jeans hug my ass like clingfilm on a roll of wrapping paper, I'm either hungry to the point of gnawing my arm off, or I feel the need to fast like Ghandi, all in conjunction with cramps that make a kick in the balls look like Girl Scout Camp.

So, excuses? I think not.

I am a recent transfer and going to a community college first was the BEST decision I could have made. I changed my major 5 times and now I know what I really want to do. BE AWARE transfering can cause you to be a semester or more behind so be cognisant that a four year degree might turn into a five year degree. Meet with your academic counselors early and OFTEN!

THANK YOU ladies below for your kind, encouraging, and supportive words! It truly means a lot for you to take the time to read my story, comment, and share with others. Like you stated below AllisonGrace, we are all in this together so I feel it is necessary to do my part by educating people on this terrible disease. EVEN DOCTORS!!! It's called turning a negative, unfortunate situation into a positive journey. I try to listen and learn all the lessons along the way. Really absorb them. I listen to my intuitiveness. It speaks truths even before things happen. I am humbled by life, different life styles, possibilities and opportunities. Life can change in a split second. Mine did. Cancer is not a gift itself it is what one chooses to do with the eperience and survivalship of it... moving forward blessing yourself and others along the way. You CAN become a life "guide" by helping others make a difference. Like I said before, we are ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!!

I would love to stay in touch through email with all of you so please go to www.myspace.com/cancerwarrior

I posted my story there too in hopes of accomplishing my mission to spread the word about the diagnosis, or in my case, the MISdiagnosis of breast cancer in younger women. Be good to yourselves and CELEBRATE LIFE EVERY MOMENT YOU ARE GIFTED WITH!!!

Stefanie LaRue

This news almost threw me off my election coverage! Only Brit Brit could pull this kind of media coverage away from yesterday's (awesome) election day. I gotta go with #2. I think for some weird reason she really loved the loser. I do think that at some point she switched to #1 but I think it was really recent.

You know she's not my favorite, nor has she ever been but she really pulled this off well!

OPRAH, who else?

OPRAH, who else?

Good for you. You go girl.

Ohhh I love it. I'll try anything pumpkin! The Smashing Pumpkintini (in the recipe section) is awesome too.

This is hilarious. I love it.

I think the most important point the article brings up is that there's no shame in being a lesbian or bisexual. As long as you're safe, and honest with the man that you're in a relationship with, I say go for it. You have to be true to yourself.

Honostly, I think some of the times, we really cant help it. Our hormones are raging all over the place, and our body is just screwed up. I just try to be more aware of what is going on when it is that time of the month!

Women in the community rely on themselves in the things and other things are dependent on men for that duty in accordance with the teachings of religion and power, law and guardianship, which is achieved by the women's all kinds of instability and this was defaulted from one society to another according to religious teachings, cultural and social In any law,even in the deserts and forests and thevillages around the world we see women and men depend on each other!!

Will talk about the society in which I live in The Arab world& Islamic :

Women in our society rely on itself in many aspects of life, but unless they have achieved can be achieved in many other societies, as it very far on the subject of selfishness Almchevi in Western societies richو

would like to see you interview Margaret Thatcher As a woman of politics ,It is the center of the Saudi elite and educated women, Dr. Suheila Zine El Abidine,

Does allowing him to pay relinquish our control over the situation?

Well Well ...

believe fully that what is written now is a reaction to certain positions and not a careful and thoughtful !!

May not be patient with the children for psychological reasons or for reasons other than normal؟!
But the body is designed women to give birth is not, in itself, but because it serves the functions of physical, psychological, social, family and moral many all women of the world
so, it is abnormal that Trfedi child or his childhood!
Children of all humans, not creature, as you say, all these charges aimed to develop psychologically and intellectually with the evolution of life around him, including by virtue of the parents are the cause of what was happening to him first and foremost?
When we look away from each child influences Why would you think people take all these child care and kindness and love and why people are keen to build a family of children and stay away as much as possible from all influences that might bother the development and growth of children and hinder future in all respects!

I think that all this because of hormones--as they work to the emergence of very large changes in the psychology of women


shai5ah- Saudi Arabia

Oh wow are we really going to admit that this monthly annoyance doesn't stop us from doing any activities? I'm not sure I'm ready to admit that to myself. I have so been there eating an entire pizza, alone, and the only thing that I can think of to justify it is Lucy (my pet name for my period - short for Lucifer). This is a horrible example but you know how Jessica Simpson treated her husband on their reality show? (You know whiny and complaining all the time) I do like having a point in my cycle to just stop acting like a grown up and whine and complain and be the giant brat I am deep down inside! Lucy is my justification to my husband for these times. I'm not going to tell him it's not her fault!

Your friend was totally justified in her actions. Even if her guy didn't actually cheat, the fact that he thinks it's acceptable to say things like that shows a lack of character. It's a slippery sloap, and one that would surely be descended after years and years of marriage.

Oh my gosh I totally make use it as an excuse to be lazy and eat a lot. Instead of going to the gym I'll sit in from of the TV and eat chocolate, justifying it with my period. I should really break the habit, but who wants to do that?

I laughed so hard at the telemarketer story! I've so been there during that time. You know I don't like to admit it but I do use my period as an excuse for many things. I totally use it as an excuse to not work out for a week when I really could be. The irritability factor can sometimes be blamed on the period (I'm not that cranky ALL the time!).

I laughed so hard at the telemarketer story! I've so been there during that time. You know I don't like to admit it but I do use my period as an excuse for many things. I totally use it as an excuse to not work out for a week when I really could be. The irritability factor can sometimes be blamed on the period (I'm not that cranky ALL the time!).

There are so many reasons why these two should not have gotten married, but I'm really curious about how she "discovered" all this. Trust clearly wasn't one of their strong suits. Better off not getting hitched if you don't trust your guy to begin with -and on top of it all you're right about not trusting him.

Stefanie you are an inspiration. Your story made my cry. Thank you for all your hard work on capitol hill! You are so right that cancer does not discriminate on the grounds of age, sex, gender, sexuality, or ethnicity. We're all in this battle together. I wish you continued good health.

I thought it was important to divulge your sexual history before becoming intimate with someone. I always think of it as protecting myself. Even if it's safe sex don't you need the info to protect yourself?

I met Lindsey in her NYC store. She is a genius with jewelry!

Oh! I read this too it was SO good. I'm not much of a cook but Julie's mission was inspiring. I'm going to try this recipe this weekend.

Yes it is possible if he is the right guy. But if he is not than u can't change them.
Here is my story. I ran into this experience myself except for the fact that I knew what it was between us cause I asked him what he wanted and it was just friends. I told him that was fine for the time bein but when I found someone that wanted more he would have to go. Well I guess he didn't think I was serious and when the time came I told him I couldn't see him anymore. He said alright. Well 2 weeks later he was callin me tellin me we needed to talk. So I did and he told me that he wanted to try and make a relationship out of this that I needed to leave the other guy. All he could do was think about me all of the time and he needed me. So I told him ok and we proceeded with it and we have been together for a little over 2 years and we have a beautiful 3 month old daughter. So the moral is it all depends on the guy. But things need to be said out in the open and everyone needs to know of what the situation and the status of the relationship is.

I think maturity is a state of mind, but a huge age difference brings on its own set of issues. Both parties must ask themselves, why are they in the relationship in the first place. Is it to prove a point? Is it to prove you can attract a younger man or older man? If it is to prove a point, then rethink why you're set on dating someone younger. Hopefully, it's natural where you meet someone and happen to find out that he is younger or slightly older.

The friends with benefits syndrome is what it is. Don't expect more or you will be disappointed.

He's already gotten the prize, so whatelse does he have to strive for? He's "hitting" it and doesn't have to pay for dinner, movie, or offer any type of committment. In his eyes, he has it good.

What can you do to make him feel that he's missing out by not spending extra time with you?
I don't think that you can. I think he has to want to spend more time with you outside of the bedroom. You can try, but unless he's already feeling you "outside" of the bedroom, it may only push him away.

If you want more, don't continue to settle for less. There may be a time where you have to be upfront with him and be blunt and tell him you want more. If he retreats, then you know it's time for you to definately cut the rope and move on.

My advice-cut your losses now and move on. Allow yourself to meet someone who can appreciate ALL of you and not just a "piece" of you.

Being unavailable is the hardest but definitely the best advice. Thanks for the great tips!

This article is perfect. I'm going to make the call!

Julia and Julie (Julie Powell's book) is awesome, and I recommend it to everyone. Her writing is hilarious, and if you're into food/cooking you'll absolutely love it. It's a really quick read, too (I finished it in a week!).

Okay we're a good way into this season and I have mixed feelings on everything that's going on. I feel like it's been a bit of a slow start. The whole Meredith love triangle was just kind of a let down. There were no dates, no exciting drama between the 3 of them. Now they have McSteamy back and I'm hoping for some good drama to come. I do love the new lead in show, Ugly Betty, so good! Anyone else seen this?

What great advice! I love #6! I've had so many friends who don't listen to this one. Guys and girls! My guy friends are baffled when their booty call wants a relationship and my girl friends are upset when their boot call doesn't fall for them. Thanks for the tips!

I really believe that you find him when you're not looking for him. It's hard to do, but if we would stop worrying about finding THE guy, and focus on ourselves instead, we'd find ourselves much happier, successful and enjoyable to be around. The more time you spend single, getting to know yourself, your desires, goals, etc., the more your confidence and uniqueness will attract people to you.

Amen sister! Like many other ladies, im in exactly the same boat as you. Who needs men anyways? We can have way more fun when we are single...

Oh I love it! I can't wait to make some cute little Happy Halloween ones for my party later this month. :)

My name is Stefanie LaRue. I am 31 years of age and have recently been diagnosed with Stage 4 Advanced/Metastatic Breast Cancer. My family and I are still reeling from the shock of all this, as you can imagine, particularly because I was assured several times by my doctors that I was too young to have breast cancer. I am writing this letter not only to share my story with you, but also in the hope that I might be able to help change the way the medical profession, insurance companies and people in general view breast cancer. It is one of my many goals to change the medical mark up and protocol for young women, allowing for possible early diagnosis and treatment.

People generally think that breast cancer is a disease that affects only mom or grandma. Not so. Aggressive and life threatening breast cancers are infecting the younger generations, myself among them. For these reasons, we have a much lower survival rate. A Stage 4 Metastatic (life threatening) diagnosis means cancer cells have spread to the body’s bloodstream. From there they can attach, host, and attack any part of the body at any time. Who is really educated on this subject? More importantly, who is paying attention? Sadly, not many. This misguided view of breast cancer drastically affected my battle with the disease, and I am not the first to be overlooked in such a manner. That is why I feel compelled to do my part to help deliver the message about breast cancer misdiagnosis in younger women. In my case, one month earlier diagnosis could have made a difference.

On Saturday evening, October 15, 2005, a gentleman I was dating at the time found a lump in my right breast. He immediately brought it to my attention and expressed his concern that I see a doctor right away. I have to admit I was surprised not just by his discovery, but by the fact that I had not discovered it before. For the rest of the weekend I couldn’t forget about the lump. I found myself constantly rubbing, mashing, and massaging my breast. I started to worry about the possibilities of what it could be.

On Monday I called the doctor’s office that was listed on my insurance card. Because I was a new patient (no records of prior illness because of good health) they couldn’t get me in right away, so my appointment was set five days later on Friday, October 21st. After my doctor examined me he had a look of uncertainty that I found unsettling. He actually asked if I had been bitten on my breast. After somewhat amazedly confirming that he was referring to a sexual bite, I answered him with a quick NO. He then explained that some women get what is called Mastitis, which typically occurs in breast-feeding mothers. He said that while rare, some “non-mothers” do get Mastitis. I asked him about the possibility of this being breast cancer. He said I was too young and healthy looking and added that breast cancer is generally not painful or sensitive to the touch like what I was experiencing. He also stated that my mass did not fit the profile as it was not a defined lump. Naturally I agreed because I was taking good care of myself, eating healthfully, and working out. Still uncertain about my condition he prescribed an antibiotic and Vicodin for the pain, telling me to call him in a week if I didn’t feel better.

A week later I didn’t feel any better. I was running a low-grade fever every day at work and having hot flashes (didn’t know what those were at the time but certainly do now!) I was having EXTREME pain in my right breast and surrounding area, and was starting to notice my nipple retracting. That was unsettling. I had to show this to my doctor. Upon my return, he examined me again still believing what I had was Mastitis. I told him that it was strange but in those 10 days I was certain the lump had grown. He didn’t seem to agree after examining it once more but recommended I see this cancer surgeon who had operated on his father. He told me that he trusted this man with his father’s life when he had cancer and was certain that I would be in good hands. He then emailed the cancer surgeon explaining my situation and that I should see him right away. This began my nightmare.

By the time I got in to see the surgeon my symptoms had worsened. I asked my mom to drive in from out of town to attend this appointment with me, as I had faced the prior ones alone. I could tell she too was really starting to worry about the lump, regardless of the message that my primary care doctor was sending that I was too young to have breast cancer. After measuring my lump at 4 centimeters, the surgeon said exactly the same thing and sent me home with more antibiotics and Vicodin. I ended up going home with three different rounds of antibiotics and no tests. I could feel this so called “infection” growing inside of me and continued to express my concern to my doctors. I felt like they were not listening to me, but because they didn’t seem to be worried I kept telling myself that it was nothing serious. So wrong.

After returning once more to see my surgeon with no improvement, he scheduled an ultra sound. A large, inflamed mass was identified. The head of radiology came into my room to double check the tech’s results. He then asked me to get dressed and to come into his office for discussion. My nerves were twisted. He showed me my x-rays and explained that though the mass was rather large, he felt strongly that it looked like a breast infection. Wrong again! This was doctor number three.

I finally had an incisional biopsy (that I felt I really had to push for), yet even in the recovery room I was told again by my surgeon that he doubted it was breast cancer. He believed it was just some kind of strange, rare, unusual breast infection. I was also told that the lab was probably going to take some time in getting back to me, because if he didn’t know what it was then the lab would probably not be able to identify it immediately either. Another incorrect assumption. Much to my surprise, two days later on my way to work I received a phone call from my doctor’s office asking me to stop by as the doctor wanted to see me. I phoned my mom excitedly believing that the results were already back and that it was indeed just what all of my doctors had thought… a breast infection. On Tuesday, November 22, 2005 while sitting alone I was told that I had a very aggressive kind of breast cancer. I went into shock! I immediately thought I was going to die. My cancer surgeon read from my pathology report these 20 letter words that I have never heard of nor could I comprehend. I knew that by the look in his eyes what he was reading to me was very serious. If I had known that I was to receive this kind of answer I would have not gone to this appointment alone, but I was not prepared by anyone for this possibility. My doctor asked me if there was anyone I needed to call. I said, “I needed him to call my mom at work and tell her what he had just told me because I knew that I could not bear to tell her that I had cancer”. Still in shock, I remained composed until I heard my mom’s voice. I could not hold back anymore and the tears started pouring. I told her to sit down and my doctor was going to tell her something. I could feel her heart pounding through the phone with mine. I felt her panic. He began to tell her of my diagnosis. She cried out in tears. Her heart was broken. That is when I began to feel numb. My mom hung up and my doctor asked if there was anyone else to call. After experiencing his cold bed-side manner, I decided that it was best for me to handle the call to the man I had been dating who would become my boyfriend. My mom said she would call my dad and the rest of the family in Texas before she left to drive my way. My surgeon walked me back to the front reception area and told his assistant that she needed to call and get me in “STAT” for a Bone Scan, CT/PET scan, chest X-Rays, Blood work and an MRI. Hearing my surgeon use the word “STAT” gave me the shakes. The reality of my situation flooded me with anxiety. I wanted to cry so badly but felt I couldn’t until I walked myself to my car and then it would be ok to let go. That’s exactly what I did.

Sitting in my car in the parking garage, I called my boyfriend and asked him to please meet me at my apartment ASAP. He knew. He could hear it in my voice. I tried to stay strong because I knew I had to somehow drive myself home in one piece after hearing this life threatening diagnosis. Driving back to my apartment alone was extremely challenging. My vision was blurred by the tears that constantly filled my eyes. Once I arrived, I fell on my couch and completely fell apart. I sat there in the dark and cried with amazement that something like this could happen to me. The more I thought about what I was told, the harder I cried. My stomach was turned inside out. Twenty minutes later my boyfriend walked in, took one look at me, began crying, and held me. He held me for what seemed like eternity. He didn’t want to let go. I told him of my diagnosis and that I would completely understand if he needed to leave. Leave ME that is. I gave him that option because I knew this was something he did not sign up for (of course nor did I). This was my battle to fight and I already knew that it would be a heartbreaking one to witness. Completely devoted, HE STAYED!

Upon my mom’s arrival at my apartment she walked in and hugged my so tightly as to never let go again. She cried out in sorrow, “Not my angel baby, please not her, take me instead, please take me instead, this is not how it’s supposed to happen”. I have never seen my mom cry as she did that day. My dad and grandma flew in from Texas that night sharing the same emotions and shedding the same tears.

Less than 48 hours away was Thanksgiving Day. I told my boyfriend (who informed my friends) as well as my family that I did not want ANY cancer discussion. I wanted the day to be festive and fun, not depressing with sadness and tears. And it was as I wished.

Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, I had my first CT/PET scan. The following Monday I was scheduled for a bone scan. Tuesday I had extensive blood work and an appointment with the gynecologist due to irregular bleeding. The first thought was my cancer had spread to my ovaries. A vaginal ultrasound proved negative for cancer. Thank goodness! Wednesday I had a 2 hour MRI. It was also a day of results from my oncologist. Sitting in my oncologist office with my boyfriend, family, and best friend present, I was told there was a spinal lesion on my T12 vertebrae. If in fact this proved to be cancer I was given one year to live. My oncologist then scheduled a “STAT” (there’s that word again!) spinal bone biopsy for Friday. My nerves were on edge. I needed a second opinion ASAP!

After being referred to a highly credible breast cancer surgeon (by my boss’ wife who had a double mastectomy due to cancer) at a leading breast cancer center I was immediately scheduled for multidisciplinary consultations. After three frustrating days of trying to find out my spinal bone biopsy results from my first oncologist, the current nurse practitioner said that she would call over and get the results for me. She did just that! Unfortunately, she had to be the bearer of bad news. I was upgraded to Stage 4 with bone mets. The cancer had spread beyond my breast into my lymph nodes and spine. The visions that invaded my mind were so horrific! Again, I felt sick to my stomach. Now I am really going to die. I thought about getting my affairs in order and writing a will. Then I said to myself, “wait a minute, I am only thirty years old! This can’t be happening”. Sadly, it was. It seemed bad news was never-ending that day.

Within three weeks I started chemotherapy. By that time my lump measured over 8 centimeters. My tumors were a constant reminder of the cancer that had invaded my body. For that reason, I welcomed the chemo. Prior to starting chemo, I had a direct line portocath inserted into my left arm. Chemo treatments consisted of six hour infusions, three weeks apart, for six months. First week post treatment I developed a neutropenic fever. I was rushed to the emergency room where I spent 10 hours experiencing hallucinations, 104 fever, with excruciating body and bone pain. My white blood cells had dropped to 0.0! I had NO protection to fight any germs, yet, I was in the ER for 10 hours with nothing but sick people. The ER doctors said they had never seen anyone’s white blood cells “bottom out” to 0 the way mine did and especially how fast they dropped. I was admitted to a high level quarantined room for the next three days over Christmas. Only my mom and boyfriend could stay with me. Due to my white blood cell count bottoming out, it was ordered that everything and everyone who was allowed in my room was sterile. Being quarantined for seven days following future infusions was now mandatory. Hydration treatments were also added to my regimen.

Some of the intolerable side effects of chemo included nausea, vomiting, lack of appetite, severe diarrhea, and body cramps. Loss of memory from “chemo brain” was the most frustrating and embarrassing side effect. By this time, I had dropped 20 pounds. I couldn’t taste anything for the thick coating of toxins on my tongue. I developed hemorrhoids from the severe constipation due to the Vicodin. As an added bonus, the chemo kicked my body into early menopause. With this came (and are still present) blazing hot flashes, drenching night sweats, and grave insomnia. I was told that I could never have children because the presence of estrogen in my body would feed my cancer. I was emotionally devastated. I wondered how people could live through this. I now know first hand it is truly mind over matter.

I spent my 31st birthday this past February participating at the Young Survivor Coalition (YSC) conference in Denver. There I found many other women close to my age living with breast cancer but very few with Stage 4. I was relieved in a sense because I felt so lost and alone after my diagnosis. The YSC is specifically geared toward and focused on women who are diagnosed at 40 years of age or younger. This is the only organization that exists for women like me. I had just finished my third round of chemo and of course was still bald at the time. I was relieved to be among many, many other young faces and bald heads.

Recently, I was given the opportunity to attend the National Breast Cancer Coalition Conference (NBCC) in Washington DC. There I learned of the NBCC’s Agenda, exactly what it stood for, and what it meant for me. While on Capitol Hill, I met with numerous Congressmen and women sharing my story and lobbying to pass the National Breast Cancer and Environmental Research Act (HR 2231) which is top priority on the NBCC’s Agenda. By choosing to go bald (without my wig) it is my belief I made a strong impact on Congress members as well as my fellow cancer sisters. I was one of the youngest of 600 women attending this conference. There are now 234 members in the House and 64 Senators signed on to this bill. My efforts paid off. My face was remembered. My voice was heard.

For me, a price was paid. While in Washington my legs, ankles and feet began to swell. At times, I found it very difficult to walk. Upon my return home to Los Angeles, I was wheel chaired from plane to plane because of connecting flights. By the time I landed back in LAX, my feet no longer looked like my own. The change in altitude had taken its toll. The damage was done. I suffered from a serious form of Edema. I was immediately put on bed rest and given a prescription of sexy compression tights of which I still have to wear today. Now after surviving two surgeries, the removal of a tumor over 4 centimeters, and 20 lymph nodes, I am now classified as NED: No Evidence of Disease.

In closing, it is critical I share my experiences and knowledge with as many other daughters, sisters and girlfriends, whose lives have been sent into turmoil by a breast cancer diagnosis. Cancer knows no color, age, or sex. It has no boundaries. This happened to me, and it can happen to anyone. It has changed my life forever. I want to help deliver the message, young women CAN and DO get breast cancer! Statistically, cases in younger women are on the rise, a fact that contradicts the established notion that women under 40, rarely, if ever, get this disease. Breast Cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in women ages 15–54. I have been told by my doctors it is not a question of if the cancer reoccurs, it is a question of how, when, and where. My passion is to be a spokeswoman for other young women living with Breast Cancer. It is imperative we be our own advocates in this battle and make our own choices. While lecturing at hospitals, high schools and universities I want to be a voice that is heard and a face that is not forgotten. I want to give hope to young women and insight to the uneducated. I am a cancer warrior with the power of pink on my side!

Please help me save my life and the lives of others. Help me to prevent another young woman from being misdiagnosed. Join me in my efforts to be a vehicle that creates an awareness and a better understanding for this unnecessary loss of life. Together we can make a difference.

Thank you for your compassion and consideration.

Sincerely,
Stefanie LaRue

Stefanie LaRue
Currently 31 years of age
DX 11/22/05 at age 30
Stage 4 Advanced/Metastatic
Her2 negative
ER positive
PR negative
8+ cm primary tumor
Neoadjuvant chemo: TAC (Taxotere, Adriomysin, Cytoxin)
2 right lumpectomies
20 lymph nodes removed, 4 positive
7 weeks radiation
Reconstruction

Haha. I know! I also sort of hesitate before explaining to people that the show I'm watching is about high school kids in Canada. Maybe it's because when I was that age, there weren't any shows that really addressed the issues they tackle. Why does high school drama remain appealing far after we've graduated?

Is this the new question of our generation? I know that all of my friends have differing opinions on it. Most will say that they will definitely live with someone before marriage, but then others who say no way. I've switched camps in the last few years.

I made the mistake of moving in with my boyfriend right out of college. He asked, I was in love, what could go wrong? Yeah too much to write in one little section. That's a novel! Anyways back to my point (it's coming I swear). After having the unfortunate experience of living with the boy and having it end in a fiery crash of tears and broken heart(s) I won't do it again. I will stay at a boy's place every single night and keep a drawer but I will not give up my place until the ring is on the finger. A good number of my friends are of the opposite opinion and will not marry someone until they have lived with them. It seems to be a personal choice. I don't think either one is right or wrong. It's what works for you.

You could buy a meat thermometer. They aren't too expensive, and all you have to do is poke it into the meat, which is much easier and makes for better presentation.

I am so used to being swamped that it seems normal to me. I can't even imagine that last time I felt like I had nothing to do.

support ticket to mediatech submitted

yes

You know sometimes you just need to take a walk, and on a friday grab a drink to appreciate whats outside of the office, but being young and working hard is normal and it will pay off in the end

I wish I would I would of read this before I became close to my co-worker. We hung out with each others family, our kids, friends, etc. I even introduced her to my neighbor at the time. They hit it off and I wasn't allowed to hang out with him anymore because she got jealous. That created so much tension but we/I did get through it by accepting how she was. Then, I was promoted and it got even worse. I'm not sure if it's just women in general that don't know how to appreciate friendship or if it is because we were just work associates and I mistook it for more. All I know is that I would never trust or try to get close to any co-worker ever again. It's just not worth it when it goes wrong and work begins to affect your off time.

Remember in the first season when Derek and Meredith have breakfast in the kitchen with Izzie and George. That's what I want Meredith to have again. Enough with this drama, let the woman have breakfast.

I have never met a man who is threatened by a woman's career. In fact every guy I know has been incredibly supportive - if not turned on - by a woman's ambitions. I need to have more to talk about than daytime TV!

All my life, I have been telling people that I want to be President of the United States - some people laugh, others don't and support me. My husband talks about it like I am already elected and he is planning out his duties as the "First Dude". I think it is great that there are men who are not "threatened" and can realize that smart and brainy is beautiful!

Thanks for blogging about this - that article on Forbes.com was so outrageous! http://www.forbes.com/home/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html

These guys (except Chris) know better!

It was good! I too want Mc Dreamy and Meredith together. I'm so happy it's back. I felt like last night was a builder episode for big drama to come. I can't wait for the rest of the season. I wish the show were like 2 hours longer!!!

I used to do the starbucks card thing but kept going over. I finally started making my own at home. At first they didn't taste as good because I didn't use as much of the sweet stuff. Now I like mine better thn the coffee shop and they're healthier!

Thanks for the advice Ian. I came across this very same dilemma recently. I called him. It worked out well in the short term. The long term had nothing to do with the call. I really only did it because I really liked him.

I love the article but can't relate. I went to an all women's college and I'm straight. Since then the apartment romance has come up. All I'm going to say is... the walk of shame is a lot shorter with a neighbor :)

Though not really dating anymore as I'm married, my wife really likes it when I take a shower to get rid of the days grime. Despite working from home and sitting in the office all day.

I feel the same way. Jealousy is the sign of an unhealthy relationship. Why would you be with someone if you aren't sure they want to be with you more than anyone else?

I just tried making this and it's really good. The apples might sound random in the sandwich, but they add a really nice contrasting flavor with the bacon.

I guess there's an exception to every rule! I met my boyfriend in the dorms our freshman year. He had a single, so that helped, and we didn't technically make things official until the end of the year. Definitely take things slow- I think that's what saved us. We've been together for almost four years now!

These are really great tips but, seriously, it's really hard to go one day- let alone many days- without buying a coffee! If you really can't stop yourself (like me) give yourself a coffee budget; load up a Starbucks card with X dollars every month and only let yourself spend what's on the card.

Is it a bad thing if you NEVER get jealous in your relationship? I always feel like there's nothing to worry about... and if there was, there wouldn't be a relationship any more anyways. Why stress?

Well that plan wouldn't work because then there would be like 400 girls trying to be in the cool sorority. How could anyone have any fun or make friends with that many people?

Does anyone know how they can calculate shipping costs when they sell stuff online? I always want to sell, but I want it to be worth my while after I pay all the packing/shipping costs (but I'm too lazy to go to the post office before I post to EBay). Catch-22.

I have never known ANY dorm relationships that worked out. It's just a recipe for disaster.

Oh my god: How could anyone take advantage of a child like this... or any human for that matter. How do these human traffickers and the men who essentially rape these children sleep at night?

Does anyone know a good way to tell if meat is done cooking, beyond just cutting it in a million pieces to make sure nothing's raw (which is what I do now... makes for terrible presentation when I have dinner parties.) :)

I am so impressed by female firefighters... I'm not sure I would have the guts to do what they do, both the running into burning buildings and the working with an almost all-male team. The latter must get disheartening.

I don't really understand why there has to be this whole secret selection process at all. Why can't anyone just join a sorority, like all the other clubs on campus? I understand that there's limited space in the sorority house, but couldn't making it into the house be the whole secret selection process (like making varsity) and that way everyone else is still in the club, they're just not one of the chosen few for the house!

I read this article yesterday, and I've already made a change. Despite being a "Coffee Addict," I'm limiting myself to only 2 Starbucks' a week and I'm making coffee at home every other day. I've already saved almost $10! (Those raspberry white chocolate mochas are pricey little devils... but so damn good.)

I LOVE this--it's so dead on! My first date ritual? Getting ready to the same "frat party" mix CD that I've been getting ready to since junior year of college. I dance my nerves away as I do my hair and makeup.

It makes sense to not want children so that you can spend time on your family and those you love. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids and no one should ever say there is. I'm not sure if I'll ever have them but I do love them in all shapes and sizes, except screaming. I do not like the screaming ones.

I'll admit I do find it odd when people don't find them cute. It's like not finding puppies cute. They're so little and clean and fresh to the world. Granted when they're screaming not so much but the little smiles and the things they do. Ohhh I love being an auntie. Okay I'm a sucker for kids but I'm not ready for my own yet. One of the best things about kids is that you get to give them back to their owners. Maybe kids aren't for me after all...

Wow... I never really thought about it but you make a REALLY convincing argument for never having children.

I say, borrow the little rugrats from your friends for the afternoon if you're ever feeling in a family way... then send 'em home coated in cotton candy and let their parents deal with their sugar-high crashes. All the fun of kids, none of the responsibilities or exhaustion. :)

I totally saw this today too! No way that a guy would allow a woman to make that call, at least not here. In the good old USA the guy would be making pornos once he's healed. I hear John Bobbit is quite the porn star now.

You know I'm not so much a walk of shame type girl, or at least not in the morning. I do mine at night. It's easier to return home with a little less shame at night and not have to deal with the knowing glances. I have done my fair share of walk of shames at night. They are always in my own clothes because if I borrowed I would be obligated to get a hold of him later.

HILLARY CLINTON!!!!!!!

I read this on Yahoo News today too! It's definitely true but I can understand how it sounds fake. What guy would give up his penis for any girl? That's crazy talk.

This definitely sounds like some sort of urban legend. Is it really true?

I once made the mistake of borrowing his scrubs and shirt to replace my black mini and black sparkly halter and then put my heels on with the whole outfit. Nothing screams walk of shame like clothes swallowing you whole they're so large and then a pair of cute heels... at the bagel shop. I keep asking myself why I didn't go shoeless!

Well my first thought is the new one didn't live up to the old one's standards... if you know what I mean (wink wink). In regards to your question about making the man give it up... no way! She should embrace her new experience. I do have my doubts that the transplant really happened. Definitely a good story. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'll definitely bring it up over cocktails with the girls.

The Walk of Shame doesn't get any worse than the night after a Halloween party at which you dressed up like a "sexy nurse." Sigh, enough said.

It's funny, my worst walk of shame moment didn't even involve getting any... just the illusion thereof.

I was staying at a guy friend's house--who actually was in love with me, but I didn't know it—and one night my quasi-boyfriend... aka the hot Brazilian soccer player... called me up and invited me over to his frat house (Frat boy—there was problem number one). So I asked my guy friend to give me a ride over (I SWEAR I didn’t know he liked me) and went over to snuggle up and watch Varsity Blues (that was problem number two, I mean come on… what’s up with Dawson and the whipped cream bikini girl). The movie was so boring that I fell asleep for awhile, and in the wee hours of the morning stumbled back to my guy friend’s house, who looked at me like I had just killed his puppy while telling him the truth about Santa when I walked through the door.

Things didn’t work out with bad-taste-in-movies frat boy, but I’m happy to say that things are still going strong with guy friend (now boyfriend). But I’ve never told him what really happened that night… just to keep him on his toes. ;)

Did you see that India jumped on the band wagon and is banning too thin models from their runways, too! :)

Fly girl I hear you! I just went away for the labor day weekend and it was a pain to get there. Once I was there it was awesome, and before I had to pack I was so excited, but those 24 hours leading up to the flight weren't so fun. With all the restrictions on liquids I had my water bottle confiscated (and received several dirty looks from the security staff), but snuck through all my other cosmetics. I got on the flight and the absolute WORST smelling man ever sat next to me. I changed to another middle seat because I couldn't breath.

Now after this big rant I must also agree I'm turning into my Mother. When did this happen? I mean I love her and she's the most amazing person I know but I sound just like her!!! Help!!

I'd want to hear from Vera Wang or Kate Spade! Or Diane von Furstenburg... any of these amazing women who are not only running their own multimillion dollar corporations, but are also influencing and deciding what the next big thing that women where is! That's some serious power.

Jeannette Walls, author of The Glass Castle

Georgia Lee, writer/director of the hit indie flick Red Doors

JANE Editor-in-Chief, Brandon Holley

Deborah Fine, president of NBC Universal's iVillage properties.

I'll keep thinking...

There are so few women in charge of Fortune 500 companies. I'd want to hear from a CEO of a major company like Ebay's Meg Whitman or Avon's Andrea Jung.

I saw this on the news the other day. Apparently 30% of the models couldn't walk in Madrid. Of course they had everyone else saying they'd never do it and that these women are "born" this way. They don't have eating disorders. What a load of crap!

Yes, that's true that celebs knew what they were getting into. But their kids didn't agree to any of this. The paparazzi should leave the kids alone.

I know! Celebs knew what they were getting themselves into. And I get so sick of hearing them whine when they're pulling in $20 million a movie.

Yes it's all about the memories... but if you've lost that much stuff you're clearly pretty careless! You should treasure these things along with the stories. Think of all the people who lost everything in Katrina or fires who are left with nothing, by no fault of their own.

When is the US going to put this into motion? I was just watching coverage of fashion week online last night, and the skinny, rib-showing abs of the models just aren't sexy... and aren't healthy! Go Spain!!!

Are you kidding me? These people feed off of our attention for their obscene salaries and then they expect to hide an aspect of their lives from us? They are public figures. There are plenty of people who don't make their kids a center piece. If you sell a picture of your kid for millions of dollars what do you expect? That people will suddenly lose interest. Not buying the pity act over here.

I don't know girls--those older men seem to feel pretty entitled. I'll stick with the guys closer to my own age who aren't jaded yet!

Have you guys every seen the paparazzi hounding someone? It's terrifying! I saw them surround Sarah Jessica Parker a couple months ago--she was with her kid. He must have been so scared! It's just not right... even though I'm completely guilty of reading those celeb mags too.

CoffeeAddict: Exactly...I would think a man would want a woman who wanted to be with him and not just because of his bank account.
YJauthor: Right...show him respect...but the man definately has to act like a King...mean treat his woman like a queen to get royalty treatment. P.S. - I'm a little more open on the age thing...but that's another blog topic :)

Now I agree that the guy has to be mature as well as independent to appreciate the independent woman..but the age thing.. I'm going to have to agree to disagree.. cause older man, although all age groups have their issues, do it for me. Just me though. :-)

You know Shelia its funny that you would bring this topic up on this particular day. I'm not sure if you are familiar with Michael Baisden, but this happens to be the very topic of his show today and I'll tell you, I finally gave up trying to call in and will be darned if I pay to sign up for a chat room to voice my opinion. These are my thoughts on the issue: 1) I don't think women would be deaf to the suggestion that we be old fashioned. You know how God really meant it to be, back in the Adam and Eve days. But truth be told, BOTH Adam and Eve screwed up. But let me just fast forward a little bit. Our grandmother's and grandfathers and great grands etc, knew their roles, and yes ladies as much as we hate to hear that, during that era we had roles. Now stay with me here. It is these roles that men want US in, but with a twist....they want us to be seen and not heard BUT still bring in money to the household and so on. So in essence men want their cake and eat it too. I don't think you would get too much of a fuss from a woman who had or has a man who is fullfulling HIS role as the man in the relationship. With a man fullfilling his rightful and TRUE role, a woman has no choice but to fulfill hers. 2) Men have failed to realize that THEY are the creation of today's independent women. How? Do you ask? Back in the day, even though I don't condone it, Papa may have been a rolling stone, and snuck around, but Papa always made sure home was taken care of. Little Johnny always had Mama and Daddy there in the same household raising him. Now with a large population of OUR men specifically (i'm not making this a racial issue but it is true) in jail, gay or on the down low, or just plain losers, we don't have much to pick from. Men are leaving women to raise little girls and little boys at alarming rates and have the nerve to say how dare a woman try to play the role of both mama and daddy to the child. You left her no choice. Thus the creation of the Independent woman. The woman did what she had to do, raise those children. Teach Susie how to be a lady, teach JOhnny how to treat a lady. Play dolls with Susie and play football with Johnnie. So in the process women then realized, hey, I'm doing it okay, and thus realized that she no longer had to settle for just anything or anyone for the sake of having a man. She realized she had choices. The same choices and values she instilled in her children about being the best they can be and not settling for just anything and that they deserved the best, they started to realize this about themselves. So now men are intimidated by us. Men, just because we say hi doesn't mean we are interested. Just because YOU say hi doesn't mean we are insterested. If we express that we are not interested in a man, we are stuck up, snoody and the B word. Men these days are holding on so tight to their money as if they can take it to Heaven or Hell with them. Then they get a woman who doesn't need their money and they have a problem with it. Then get this... they flash their money, cars and bling to attract and get a woman and then when he does have the nerve to call her a Gold Digger! Well geesh.. stop showing the Cookie Monster your cookies fool. Men want a woman to play the woman role which is true, but then wants to spend her money and hold on to it, and wants us to glorify him as THE MAN that he is not living up to. Now ladies, lets get real, this is more about men's egos than anything. They have created this so called monster called the independent woman and now can't handle it. That's kind of like being an abusive parent and then puzzled with the child grows up to beat up on women or kill people. Duh. I think that that is why it is good to communicate. Both the woman and the man need to have an understanding, and I mean a TRUE understanding. Don't say you can handle it when you know you can't. Now before I make this next statement please be advised that I am NOT a lesbian, and don't down anyone that is, but wanted to clarify that before I made this next statement. In this day and age, where women make their own money, own their own homes and cars, mow their own lawns, change their own oil, a healthy supply of AAA to D batteries, 2 healthy hands with 10 agile fingers, and the uprise of Lesbianism and stores like Adam and Eve.com and Condoms to go, Men, you really need to get yourselves together, because sooner or later, you won't need to be on the down low, because all you all will have is each other. Now I know that probably wasn't nice, but someone had to say it. On the flip side, women, if you are in a relationship with a man and you're holding your own, it is still no reason to disrespect the men in our lives. Treat him like the king he is, but as Selina Johnson sings, If you want to be the King, you have to wear the crown.

Sounds like the problem is that that guy isn't independent... he's clearly clingy and wants someone to mutually cling to!

You've clearly got yourself together, and any confident and independent guy is going to love that. He'll respect that you've got your own thing going on. And, he'll feel more loved by you because he'll see that you're together because you WANT to be, not because you NEED or HAVE to be.

Sarabel, I like your last statement. Yes, the man must be mature and I've learned maturity is a state of mind and has nothing to do with his age...lol

Sheila it's like you read my mind. Men have issues with women who are too clingy but then the indpendent gals who aren't have an attitude? ?? Can you please pick one! I too live by the moto, treat others as you would like to be treated. I don't want some guy depending on me for everything and I'm sure he doesn't want me depending on him. I do think that independent women scare most men. It takes a certain maturity to not be threatened by a woman with a career, house, car, life.

I was staying with my then boyfriend in Southern CA. When I woke up and turned on the news I thought they were showing a terrorist attack in the middle east. It took me a good 5 minutes to realize it was at home. It was a tense morning getting a hold of family members who work in the Pentagon, those in NYC, and those travelling abroad. I remember after the attacks driving around Los Angeles and every single car had an American flag. Every single one.

Yet another reason I love Spain! As if the tapas, beautiful plazas, cafes, and flamenco were not enough...

As I’ve become accustomed to in situations of world wide chaos, I heard about the planes hitting the twin towers through a text message from my brother. I was sitting in a class room on the other side of the world, my teacher telling me how to write a news story. Yet when I said something about the towers he said we would have to wait until the end of class to turn on the television. He didn’t know. We didn’t know. How could we?

We sat there for six hours, just watching it happen. The first time with disbelief, and every replay with fear. In 22 years, I had never felt closer to a global war than on this day. It might well have been the end of the world, except they were showing Everybody Loves Raymond on channel 4.

I took this opportunity to reconnect with a friend I had fallen out with. I figured, if the world would go under, maybe this would be our time to reconcile. I was wrong. She now approached life with the attitude that if these were her last days on earth she wasn’t going to waste them on people she didn’t like. So we didn’t reconcile. And the world didn’t end. And I suppose after all that happened the world didn’t change much either. In fact, yesterday when I turned on the TV, there it was again, towers collapsing and Everybody Loves Raymond. And I wonder what we learned.

Boston girl this is called LA culture! East coasters boast about their public transit and all that. Angelinos revel in the car culture. We drive from one end of the strip mall to the other (with a circle or two to make sure we find parking right in front) to avoid the walk. This is the land of cars. You're sized up by the car you drive so you'd better be seen in it as often as possible!

You know I actually lost a lot of friends in high school because people didn't call, or call back, or something like that. I came to realize that things come up, and if the friend is important to you a missed phone call or visit is okay. We all get busy and I certainly flake a good portion of the time. Life is busy and there's only so much you can fit into one day. Oh and those friends in higschool who got so mad about the calls...they all ended up getting mad at each other for the calls and now no one is friends!

I understand because I always procrastinate, I would first think about your laundry, put in a load and then chill out. Pick out outfits and know you can wash stuff when you get to your destination. Go to the airport 1.5 hours before and if possible carryon your bags to avoid lines, and do internet checkin too so that you can relax. Everyone hates to think they'll be there mom, but we got to face it, its in us...but we can be more relaxed and keep taking breaks for yourself so you don't get overwhelmed...good luck though on your trip hope this helps!

Did you see that the celebs are not going to be taxed for the free stuff they get at awards show. So ironic that once someone is famous and can afford all this stuff they get it free. I totally agree with you on this. Of course if I got free stuff I wouldn't be complaining.

The breakup is a time for change and renewal. It seems like the beau is living in the hopeful, but not, past. It seems like a good time for you to move on and find a new favorite spot.

LA never seemed like a walker friendly city. Sure walk along the beach, but drive to them.

I like this blog.

michael was here.

Where's the beef?

Good blog entry!

I like the new interactive features.