We understand that you want to be honest. But we suggest you start by being honest with yourself about your drinking consumption. Perhaps you are one of those people who cannot drink at all or must set limits (i.e. two glasses of wine at a party). Perhaps writing an inventory of your history with alcohol and/or promiscuity, and sharing it with someone confidentially in or out of AA would be valuable.

At this point, you need to put what happened behind you. Everyone makes mistakes. As long as you are doing everything to love, honor and cherish your fiancé now and going forward, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider are the authors of The Rules, The Rules II, The Rules for Marriage and The Rules for Online Dating. For further information on The Rules Consultation Corporation visit www.therulesbook.com.