It’s funny, I asked the same question to Gwen Stefani—the Idols had a chance to spend some time with Gwen on the show—because I was wondering the same thing. Here I am, my family’s here and my career is flourishing, how do you balance the two? She had her baby [with her] that day when we met her and the thing she said to me was that she just brings her family with her. When you’re in a business that takes 24 hours of your day, it’s better to just have them with you. Everywhere she goes, she travels with her family. And that’s kind of been my thing.

It’s important to really think carefully before making that first initial decision to make your career a priority over your relationship. If you make that first compromise, it will be easy to continue to make that compromise throughout your career, especially if you have a successful career. One thing I’ve learned through American Idol about the entertainment business is that it keeps you incredibly busy and if you’re successful, it’s not going to slow down.

I’ve been very fortunate. I’ve got a spouse—this is my ninth year of marriage. We were teenagers and knew each other for all of three months, but, you know, we thought it would be fun. But I was very fortunate because I have a wife who was very much pushing me to pursue my dream, my heart, my passion. She moved out here with me, so I had her here, but I noticed that just because she moves out here doesn’t mean I get to see her. I didn’t even see her every day. It’s the entertainment business; you are going to be busy all the time. But my wife always felt it was my role and she’s been pushing me to pursue it for years.  

Maybe it would be good for you to just sit down with your significant other and say, “This is my heart, this is my passion, this is what I want to do with my life and right now what I need is for you to support me. And I don’t feel that’s what I’m getting from you right now.” Anyone who really cares about you and really loves you wants what’s best for you and wants you to follow your heart. If you put it in those terms to him, then he should understand.