Of course you should question his character. I mean, what kind of man tells a woman he’s casually seeing that he’s slept with 100 women? What the hell is wrong with this guy? Doesn’t he know that a man should never, under any circumstances, admit to having slept with more than fifteen women? You can be 120 years old and must still only admit to sleeping with fifteen women. Any more than that and you’re entering a world of pain—your girlfriend will make Torquemada look like the guy at the local 7-11 who’s been selling you cigarettes since you were 12.

(When possible, I don’t admit to having had sex before. This way, at least my poor performance is excusable. And I tell you, you’d be surprised how understanding a woman who is continually not being pleased can be when you plead naiveté.)

I always view a potential girlfriend’s sexual history like I would her criminal history. Get caught stealing as a minor or date a man who’s 26 when you’re 18—hey, no big deal. Hump your college boyfriend’s best friend or get a DUI—that might raise a red flag or two, but I can handle it. Have sex with the entire Portland Trailblazers basketball team (three times) or shoot up a school for orphans—honey, I don’t think it’s going to work out.