The women who are advising you are probably single themselves and their outlook may be why. A woman who wants men to fight over her has issues. Most well balanced women want to be courted, to be treated special but to be fought over, I think not. Now this thinking may be a maturity issue, and as I do not know your age I can only paint a picture with broad brush strokes.

Basically, it comes down to you and she seeing eye to eye. Let her know how you feel about her and ask her how she feels about you. Inform her that you are interested in engaging in a monogamous relationship with her and ask her if this sounds appealing. If she is into it, great, if she is not, oh well, she isn’t the woman for you.

If you cannot deal with her being with other men, stop seeing her. Then if she misses you enough to want only your company she will drop the other guys and commit to you. (Although, I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.) Really it sounds like she is not ready for a one on one relationship, enjoys dating, and will settle down when she is good and ready. Have the talk with her and see what happens. To borrow a line from Mr. Jagger, “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need”.