Yikes! It sounds like you have two pals who have both been bitten by the green monster—and I don’t mean Oscar the Grouch! Sounds like your best bud is jealous that she has to share you with some dude you’re doting on, and your bf is jealous that he has to share you with a pal who probably knows you better than he does. So what do you do?

Of course, the best result would be for you to have both. So some serious one-on-one chats need to be had. Either that or you can lock them both in a room until they work out their issues! If it’s just a jealousy thing, that’s easily solved. But if it’s something more than that, like a deep-seated, mutual totally-irrational hatred, then you may have to make a choice.

Let’s face it—not everyone is going to love the man you’re dating. You think all of Britney’s buds said, “Wow! Kevin Federline is the most awesome guy ever!?!?” Yeah, probably not. In your case, the biggest nay-sayer is your best friend. If she’s a true lifelong pal, then she’s looking out for your best interest and doesn’t want to see you end up with the wrong guy. But if you think she’d rather see you dump him to be single and alone like she is, then you might want to ask yourself why you’re friends with her in the first place. You need that kind of toxic friend like a case of herpes!

However, while men say “bros before hos,” women say “buds before duds.” Female friendships can be for life, so first try to talk it out with your best bud and find out what the real problem is. By asking her specifically why she thinks he’s so obnoxious and rude, it may point out something about him that you never saw before. (I.e. His asking her for a lap dance—NOT an acceptable icebreaker!)

Same goes for your man. Ask him why he hates your best friend and depending on his answer, you may or may not see a side of him that you don’t like. But if he truly is the love of your life, then you need to have a serious chat with your best friend and let her know that if she can’t accept him as your future hubby, then it’s up to her if she wants to stick around.