However, while men say “bros before hos,” women say “buds before duds.” Female friendships can be for life, so first try to talk it out with your best bud and find out what the real problem is. By asking her specifically why she thinks he’s so obnoxious and rude, it may point out something about him that you never saw before. (I.e. His asking her for a lap dance—NOT an acceptable icebreaker!)

Same goes for your man. Ask him why he hates your best friend and depending on his answer, you may or may not see a side of him that you don’t like. But if he truly is the love of your life, then you need to have a serious chat with your best friend and let her know that if she can’t accept him as your future hubby, then it’s up to her if she wants to stick around.

Hopefully it all works out, but if you have to make a decision, just remember this: Boys may come and go (literally and figuratively), but a true girlfriend is a gem worth holding onto for life. But in the best of both worlds, you can have it all. Good luck!

Debbie Appel is a freelance writer for E! Entertainment and various entertainment magazines. She resides in Los Angeles.