We BarCoders are never at a loss for words and the two that immediately spring to mind here are: full disclosure. Luckily, this relationship is still on the sofa and not between the sheets, so there’s every chance that your new guy is planning on telling you all about this anyway. So far, so cool. But knowing what you know (and it really doesn’t matter how you came to find out), any refusal on his part to broach the subject is a deal breaker. Herpes is a viral infection you can live with, but doing so takes trust, understanding and acceptance from all parties involved. So if you’re serious about this relationship, be sure to give him the chance to find the right time and place to tell you. Because if he loves you, he will. In the meantime, put your mind at rest by doing a little research into herpes so that you have a clear understanding of what you’re potentially dealing with. Again, “full disclosure” are the watchwords here. Anything other than that is, in our book, quite literally, a complete T.O. (T.O. \tee oh\ n.: A turn off; an action that causes you to lose interest in someone you only moments before had a huge crush on.) Oh, and once trust is established, the snooping has to stop.

Stephanie Naman, Wendy Tatum and Ian David are authors of BarCode: Your Personal Pocket Decoder to the Modern Dating Scene. They live and write in Birmingham, Alabama and can be reached at barcodethebook.com.