Unfortunately, living with your boyfriend for an extended period of time without any formal commitment (ring and wedding date) gives him all the benefits of being married without marrying you. He doesn’t have to wine and dine you anymore, you’re cooking for him! He doesn’t have to ask you out, you’re right there! It’s too easy and men get complacent from seeing you too much. Next thing you know, they are asking you to pick up their dry cleaning and darn their socks, but not asking you to marry him!

So rather than take the risk of living with him to see what he’s really like, do the best you can to know him on dates and in social situations, i.e. how he treats others, his relationship with his parents and friends, how he treats your parents and friends, if he's polite to waiters in restaurants, and so on. You don't have to live with him to know him!

Remember, men love a challenge, so if you are trying to get a man to propose, your best bet is to see less of him, not more! In fact, more men have proposed to women after they broke up with them (“this relationship is not working for me” or “call me when you are ready to propose”) than after they moved in!

Besides, after a year of dating, you should be asking him “where this relationship is going” and “what his intentions are,” not how much closet space you can share! If he still tries to get you to live with him first, just use the tried and true line that you are “old-fashioned” and “your mother will kill you.” When he puts the ring on your finger and you have a wedding date, you can move in a few months before to plan the wedding together and save rent money, but that is about it!

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider are the authors of The Rules, The Rules II, The Rules for Marriage, and The Rules for Online Dating. For further information on The Rules Consultation Corporation visit www.therulesbook.com