Honesty is always the best policy. Looking at a woman he believes is beautiful is a natural response for a man. Men are visually motivated. A man sees something beautiful and looks. That should be it. But with that look, it’s just a glance and then they need to look away. There is a difference between looking and ogling.

The old adage, “Just because I’m on a diet, doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu,” doesn’t apply to people, only food. Why be tempted by a cheap custard tart when you already have crème brulee?

When someone on a diet keeps looking at the pastry cart, eventually they will be called to it. (Remember: garbage in, garbage out. Start out with two healthy partners and you’ll have a much healthier and happier relationship.)

Turning around to stare or make comments and wondering what it would be like to sleep with her can be a warning sign. However, once a problem is out in the open, the person who admitted to it may be less likely to act upon it. As far as trust is concerned, that is something only you can determine based on his past behaviors.

On the flip side, I do believe that women let men get away with far too much, fearing they will lose their partner if they voice their true thoughts and putting the blame on “he’s a man and that’s what men do.” That may work for teenagers, but once older, there is such a thing as controlling your thoughts and mind.

You need to have a conversation with your boyfriend about your fears and how his ogling affects you. Do this by using word pictures to better explain why this action bothers you and ask him if there is some way the two of you can work on a solution. A word picture is a story you tell using things he favors, football, sports, cars, horses, whatever.

If after you have come up with a solution he’s still ogling, why not turn the tables and start ogling other men in front of him (even if you aren’t interested). When he starts to make comments about how rude that is and how he doesn’t like it (and he will voice his concerns), state that’s how you feel when he ogles other women. Tell him when he stops, you will too. This will engage the feeling portion of his brain, which will allow him to actually feel what you do.