Even when you are in a relationship, it is still normal to find other people attractive. C’mon, we’re human beings at the end of the day. Where it gets dangerous is when we allow those attractions to take hold and start to shape our other feelings, and I think this is where you’re finding yourself caught between a rock and a hard place, to coin a phrase.

Do you still love your boyfriend, or is the relationship on a downward spiral? If you believe you no longer want to persist with the relationship then you need to identify why this is, and fancying his mate isn’t the answer either.

If you don’t learn the lessons from this relationship then you will likely repeat them in the future with whomever you meet.

Ending the relationship to get together with his mate is also likely to cause a huge fall out between the two friends. You’re not just contemplating ending a relationship—you’re contemplating ruining a friendship, unless of course you are willing to wait a long, long time before getting together with his friend.

In addition, after ending your current relationship do you really believe you will be in the best state of mind to launch into another, whether it’s with his best mate or anyone else for that matter?

Simply put, you need to work out whether you are just suffering from an infatuation or whether the real root cause is your current relationship. Is his mate really flirting with you or is he just enjoying some female attention from his best friend’s girl?

The best solution is for just you and your boyfriend to spend some time together. Go away for a weekend, do something you wouldn’t normally do, or just hole up in his house and load up on DVDs and food. Spend some time just the two of you. Taking the external factor out of your relationship will help you see whether you want to continue in your current relationship, or if it’s time to wheel in the fat lady and set her off singing.