Everyone's lives? No, not everyone's lives. Just the three of yours. Most people will survive. Lance Bass, for example—he'll be just fine. And probably Adrian Grenier. But you, your boyfriend, and his friend? Unlikely to get away unscathed.

But I think you already know this. (It's why you asked the question in the first place, isn't it? You're hoping that someone will give you the green light to indulge your lusty impulses, and if it's in print, all the better. Feels official that way, right?)

Well, sorry to disappoint. I'm flashing a red light in your direction.

Think about it: Even if you successfully "make the switch," then you'll be with a guy who stole his friend's girlfriend (you), and with a track record like that, who's to say he's not the guy who'll leave his lovely new girlfriend (you) for his new girlfriend's girlfriend? You have to admit, the moment your girlfriend starts hanging out at your house when he's around, and you notice a little innocent flirtation, you'll be fantasizing about whether they're fantasizing about tearing each other's clothes off.

Thinking this could all work out in the end—that's the real fantasy here. It comes down to this: As any relationship develops, there are so many things you'll do to each other to lose trust, why would you want to begin by proving to each other that you're not trustworthy from the start?


Kevin Bleyer is the co-author of I Love You, Nice to Meet You: A Guy And a Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up. He was a writer for Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher and has been featured on NPR’s All Things Considered, Weekend Edition and Marketplace. He also founded the Los Angeles-based sketch comedy group The But Franklies.