Then how, you may ask, can you have a serious relationship if you are limiting time spent together to twice a week and phone calls to 10 or 15 minutes? Easy: On the dates! With each date, you gradually reveal more and more about yourself - that you just joined Alcoholics Anonymous, or that your credit cards are maxed out, or that you were fired from your job last week or that your relationship with your father wasn't the best - but never that you love him and want to have his children!

Holding back a little is not a "game" but simply a way of setting healthy boundaries so you don't lose yourself in a relationship, or get dumped for being overly interested or pursuing him. If a man wants to see you all the time, let him marry you!

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider are the authors of The Rules , The Rules II , The Rules for Marriage and The Rules for Online Dating. For further information on The Rules Consultation Corporation visit www.therulesbook.com.