This is a tough question. The first thing that you need to ask yourself is do you want to marry him or do you just want to get married? I know that this seems like a loaded question, but its not. If you decide it is the latter, it’s okay, but you really have some soul searching to do. So many people get married because they feel like they “ought to” or because all of their friends are doing it—peer pressure at its worst.

If you instead decide that you truly want to spend the rest of your life with your boyfriend, I think you need to show a little patience and restraint. Tell him openly how you feel… that you want to be with him (and only him) for the rest of your life, and that you just thought he should know. Just don’t specify marriage. For some reason, lots of guys are okay with the concept of forever more than the concept of getting married: Call it fear of making a mistake. The finality of marriage—along with our divorce-first, ask-questions-later society—can be pretty intimidating. Be open, but realize that doing so could cause a rift. The other option is to wait it out, but realize that much like getting married, the future is still uncertain. Good luck.

Zac, 27, is a broke Harvard grad student with an unhealthy obsession for Boston sports teams. Sorry ladies, he’s engaged.