The answer to this one is easy. If he isn’t ready after three years, he is never going to be ready—he doesn’t love you enough to make you his wife. Without looking pathetic, there is nothing you can do to make him marry you. When someone is truly in love with you, you don’t have to encourage them to spend the rest of their life with you. The reality here is that you are not the one.

Julia Hartley Moore is New Zealand and Australia’s most recognized Private Investigator—male or female. A regular columnist for women’s magazines, Julia is sought after for her expert advice and commentary on human nature, relationships, and infidelity issues. She wrote Infidelity Sleuth.