Fairy tales.
Prince Charming has arrived! No, really, this time it’s really happening. He’s got it all. And he wants all the same things you do. The only problem is, he lives on the other side of the country. But you want to be together, so you just do it. You sell all your furniture, go to the bon voyage parties your friends throw for you (even though they’re shaking their heads the whole time) and head off into the sunset to build a life with your one true love. Hey, you never know! This could work out.

It doesn’t. The sun rises and one of you (usually him) decides this was a mistake. How romantic! Your life’s in shambles and you’re far away from home.

The challenge.
He’s otherwise engaged, or just appears somewhat aloof. Any way you look at it, getting involved with him presents something of a challenge. While there’s no way to know for certain that this just won’t work, the odds are against it. So when thoughts like, “I’m gonna make him love me,” cross your mind, it’s a sure sign that it’s time to WAIT [ask What Am I Thinking?].

Desperate measures.
If your grandmother or your mom asks you one more time when you’re going to settle down, you’re going to go postal. So you find yourself a man. He might even be a really nice guy! But the only reason you’re with him is so you don’t have to plead the Fifth every time you encounter a family member.

Don’t do this! First of all, it’s not fair to either of you. But second of all, it will not put a stop to the endless interrogations; it will just change their tone. Mark my words, within hours of introducing him to your family they’ll ask things like, “Is this serious?” Or even, “When are you going to get married?”

Remember, these same women taught you truths like, “No man is worth losing your dignity over,” and “There are men you dance with and men you marry.” So the best way to make them stop is to repeat their own words of wisdom back to them. Trust me, it works.