Let’s face it, despite declaring Valentine’s Day a Hallmark Holiday that we couldn’t care less about, when we finally reach a Valentine’s that we actually have a date for, most of us can’t wait to receive a gift. But while receiving is easy, giving a thoughtful gift can be a stressful part of any relationship. Will your homemade cookies be too Martha Stewart? Will the “I Heart You” card be too mushy? Will a gift card to Target seem like a corporate Christmas bonus? It’s enough to drive a girl mad. Before you start photo-shopping pictures of the two of you to create your future children, read on to see which Valentine’s gifts scream “psycho” and which might lead to a happy, normal relationship filled with many future Valentine’s Days.

It’s not about what you like.
Even though you may get a thrill from the red and pink streamers blanketing the supermarket, your partner probably doesn’t. Stay away from getting any traditional Valentine’s gift—guys do not want chalky candy hearts or chocolate roses. “I got a box of chocolates once. I would have preferred a burrito. Why must everyone give chocolate?” says Justin, 23. Being too thematic will likely creep him out and, if it doesn’t, he’ll still probably throw the gift away when you leave. Save the money and the humiliation and buy yourself a red g-string instead. If you’re lucky it will come in handy. A lot handier than red and pink streamers ever will.