Better thyself.
You may think it’s thoughtful to give him something that will make him even cuter. Like a razor, for shaving that pesky goatee or some deodorant that makes him smell oh-so-much sexier. Unfortunately, almost any gift that gives a subtle hint of “You’re not good enough for me” will not go over well. “But he’ll love this new soap,” you argue. No, he won’t. How would you feel if he gave you teeth whitening strips or a membership to the gym? See, not so cute when it’s aimed toward you.

Simplicity is the best policy.
We’re not claiming that boys are simple, but just like you think a diamond of any shape and size is cool, he likes three things: 1. Food 2. Blow jobs 3.Tickets to see his favorite band/sports team/movie. Although combining the three may sound stressful, know that in his heart this is all he really needs.

Don’t take it from us. Take it from them.
When it comes down to it, there’s the bad:  
  • “My ex-girlfriend got me chocolate. I hate chocolate, so this definitely didn’t prove her undying love.” Landon, 32.
  • “A book on feminism from my politically correct girlfriend. I’m all for equal rights, but isn’t Valentine’s Day supposed to be romantic?” Geoff, 28.
  • “A ‘romantic dinner’ with our ‘friends.’ We went to an overly fancy, expensive restaurant with her friends, who I don’t like. Guys don’t want fancy restaurants, they want sex! That’s romance for us.” Jared, 26.
  • “She was all excited to give me the gift, so I was pumped—figuring it was something I’d really like. It was a teddy bear with our names embroidered on it. It’s been hidden under my bed ever since.” Anthony, 21.
  • “A gym membership. I know I could lose a few pounds, but do you have to remind me on Valentine’s Day?” Damian, 25.