Don’t Be Jealous.
Jaycee and her Venezuelan boyfriend broke up temporarily when she got tired of playing second fiddle to his friends and family. This is not an uncommon feeling in relationships where one part comes from an individualistic culture and the other from a collectivistic one. According to Dr. Rosita Albert, currently a Visiting Scholar in Harvard’s Psychology Department, “If you are from an individualistic culture and your partner is from a collectivistic culture, you may seem selfish to him, and he may look overly involved with his family or friends to you. Realizing that cultural, and not only individual, differences are often at the root of conflicts can help intercultural relationships and prevent blaming the other person for the difficulties.” After communicating more, Jaycee understood that her boyfriend wasn’t trying to ignore her. Now his family, friends and his girlfriend all go out together.

Respect.
It’s easy to get on a high horse when it comes to another culture. One of the defining classifications of culture shock is criticizing, a normal reaction to handling stress. “Suspend judgment,” Dr. Albert advises. Before thinking of another culture’s tradition as wrong, stop and think of how many silly traditions exist in your own. Sure, it’s weird that in the Czech Republic boys lightly beat girls with a stick on Easter and demand an egg, but try explaining why you bob for apples dressed as a sexy witch on Halloween.

Be Flexible.
The relationship will stand its best chance when both cultures are brought to the table and each person is willing to bend a little. Perhaps it means opening up to a new religious belief or even just incorporating a new food group. Kissoon says, “You don’t have to compromise who you are, but be aware of who you both are and embrace it.”