But beware: Couples should be careful in how they use their timelines. “A deadline will be a helpful catalyst as long as it’s done collaboratively and doesn’t become a point of contention,” he says.

THE ACTRESS AND THE SALESMAN
Amy, 28, had always wanted to perform on the stage. Her husband of six years, David, 32, knew she could do it. After all, she sang around the house all the time.

So after lots of discussing and planning, Amy quit her job as a pharmaceutical sales rep and spent all her time getting some head shots, an agent and some patience.

“When you’re trying to become an actress, you’re not auditioning every single day,” Amy explains. “David would come home and ask me, ‘So, how many auditions did you go on today?’ and I would construe that as him checking up on me or measuring my success.”

David says, “I was just anxious about her getting work because I hated for her to be discouraged. So when I asked those questions, my purpose was to be supportive.”

David also admired the fact that Amy was following her dream. “I didn’t really have a dream of my own,” he admits. “She always knew she wanted to perform onstage. I envied that.”