relocating for love, relocate for love

I wasn’t a big believer in, “When you know, you know”—until I met Marc. I knew from the way he nervously asked me out, and the silly train ride to my hometown, that he was my soul mate. I also knew that he would go back to California, as my life went on in Helsinki.
  Three months later, we were in New York skating in Central Park; a month later, following a five-day visit, we knew one of us had to relocate.

Months passed, and I was in a Los Angeles diner trying to hold back tears after Marc and I had one of many arguments. As soon as we were finally together, we seemed to constantly rub each other the wrong way. And although I was having coffee with a friend, I felt utterly alone.

Turns out I wasn't alone. After meeting Rinat and Amy, both of whom had relocated for love, I realized that we had all lived through the same experience. Out of that realization came these valuable pieces of advice that I wish I had known before I booked my one way ticket to relocate for love:

Prepare for the hardest six months of your life.
My husband (yes, we are now married) remembers none of it – the crying, the fighting, the fear that we may not be meant for each other after all – while I remember several hard moments. Bottom line: Understand that if you're relocating for love it’s not going to be the fairytale you expected. Finally living in the same city will not guarantee that you’ll live happily ever after.

Get a life.
Yes, you made a decision to relocate based on a guy, but you weren’t sold to him as a mail order bride. Set yourself up like you would anywhere else. Go out and get a life. When relocating for love, you often forget that you need to work on your own life because his is easily accessible. Rinat realized that the hard way. "It was me always needing him, running after him, after his friends, after his life, instead of my own life. But everything changed after I started volunteering, made my own friends, found work and my life became full. After that our relationship changed completely. I was a person, not a shadow.”