When it comes to those three little words, we girls have some pretty high expectations: We want passion, a romantic setting and the perfect lighting. And while fireworks aren’t mandatory, they are strongly encouraged.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way. Maybe you broke it off before he professed his love. Maybe he found someone else. Maybe you’ve never dated in the first place. So, if the stars aren’t aligned quite right, is it still okay to tell someone you love them?

Can you go from best buds to bed buds?
Sometimes your true love is standing right in front of you (or sprawled out on your couch, raiding your fridge or asking you for girl advice). Yep, he’s your best guy pal and you’re starting to wonder if this could be more passionate than platonic.

“I had been friends with Todd for about six years before I started having feelings for him,” says Susan Webb, 31. She struggled with whether or not to tell him for a few months. “I knew it was a huge risk because if he didn’t love me back, there was no way our friendship could stay the same.”

In the end Susan decided to fess up. Why? “Because I got the vibe from him,” she says. “He wanted to hang out more and started acting weird when I talked about other guys. So, I finally confessed and now we’ve been ‘together’ for six months.”

While Susan’s pal-turned-partner situation worked out well, remember her advice: You gotta feel the vibe. If you’re not sure he feels the same, it’s probably because he doesn’t.

Are you in love? Or do you hate that he’s in love?
Ask yourself these questions when you feel the urge to express your emotions to a former flame who’s now taken. But once sure that you’re blushing with love and not just green with envy, then is it okay to share your true feelings?